Editor's note: Happy April Fools' Day!
A well-known entertainment conglomerate is floating the idea of opening a Silicon Valley-themed amusement park in Palo Alto, according to multiple city officials who spoke on the condition of anonymity.
The proposal, which could bring a potential $20 million to $35 million in annual taxes to the city, could also be a boon for the city's adjacent municipal Baylands Golf Links by making the area a regional destination.
The conglomerate, whose name isn't being revealed at this time because of a non-disclosure agreement, is said to desire a theme park in Silicon Valley because of the area's dense population and ability to draw in outside visitors. The region attracts well-heeled tourists from throughout the world and has two international airports within a reasonable distance, one of the sources said.
"It's very, very big," the city source said of the company without divulging its name. "There's tremendous potential, including filling area hotels, which would reap more transient occupancy taxes for the city."
The theme-park developer might also add housing as a public benefit, which would help the city inch closer to its state mandate to make way for 6,000 more housing units.
Two of the city sources said the company could comfortably build a park on the 104-acre Palo Alto Municipal Airport site, which has come under scrutiny in recent years. The airport has been accused of being an amenity that only serves the wealthy while creating noise in neighborhoods and pollution. Some people have called for its closure.
"A theme park would be far more lucrative and would benefit all residents and would also offer many jobs for less-skilled workers," the city source said.
A person familiar with the entertainment company's real estate and concepts divisions said that the theme park designers are exploring both the good and the bad of the industry that overtook what was once the Valley of Heart's Delight.
Plans include a Silicon Valley Bank Collapse "drop" tower that sends riders plummeting in free fall; a giant Tesla coil ride looming over the futuristic landscape that lights up the sky during special events; the Sam Bankman-Fried Haunted House-arrest ride; and a Robotics World where visitors encounter over-sized mechanical spiders, creatures and aliens; and a Pirates of Silicon Valley exhibit — a metaverse of so-called tech "pirates" who have become part of the valley's legacy, including Elizabeth Holmes and Elon Musk.
And no Silicon Valley theme park would be complete without space exhibits and rides developed in collaboration with Mountain View's NASA Ames Research Center; future cars and rockets in virtual reality that entice visitors to envision the future world and how communities will play, work and travel; a flight-simulated trip around Mars in a SpaceX rocket; and treasure hunts through 3-D virtual landscapes.
"It's really exciting. The concept of a futuristic theme park in the heart of Silicon Valley fits in with the region's culture: envisioning the realm of possibilities and beyond," the source said.
"And by the way: April Fools!"
Comments
Registered user
Old Palo Alto
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:08 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:08 am
Reminds me of a story told to me by a tech executive in the 70s. Whenever out-of-town guests would come to visit, he would promise to take them to the long lost silicon mines ... "tomorrow."
Registered user
Mountain View
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:12 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:12 am
Today is my birthday - my 71st (actor Annette O'Toole was also born today, and also turning 71). When I consider the concept of a full-blown, Silicon Valley amusement park it brings a smile to my face.
Let's do it and build the fastest roller coaster on the planet. Let it go underground, into pure darkness, like the ancient coaster in Santa Cruz on the Boardwalk - the world famous Giant Dipper.
Of course we'd follow the lead of Disney and build Star Wars type rides, fully immersive events.
And the Bay, let's not forget the fact we're adjacent to bird sanctuaries. What sort of "Wild Bird Ride" could the brilliant minds littering Silicon Valley come up with? No doubt it would include smells and splatter to accompany this new-found concept.
As far as location goes . . . my suggestion is to buy-out the current amusement park in Santa Clara along with the adjacent stadium (trust me, we have the money) and build it there.
No car parking - all attendees shall use public transportation, walk or bicycle.
Come on folks - Let's Do It !!!
Registered user
Midtown
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:13 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:13 am
Awesome. You had me until the SBF ride!
Registered user
Mountain View
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:14 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:14 am
What . . . no parking for automobiles? Come on people, look at the MASSIVE amount of space our stupid cars take up. Wouldn't it be lovely to simply hop on a bus, free of course, and be dropped right at the front gate of this new, world-famous Silicon Valley Amusement Park - land of the finest rides on the planet? Wow. Consider it done!
Registered user
Midtown
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:15 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:15 am
If only it could be true. Anything to get rid of the nasty airport.
Registered user
Another Palo Alto neighborhood
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:16 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:16 am
Glad to see the inventiveness of your staff. Loved it.
Registered user
Midtown
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:17 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:17 am
This is April 1st, right?
Registered user
Community Center
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:18 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:18 am
Sounds interesting but what about the increased traffic it would bring to Palo Alto?
Registered user
College Terrace
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:21 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:21 am
I had heard the park was in fact to actually be floating, to preserve the use of the land below and for travel to other destinations.
Welcome back, PA Online 4/1 authors
Registered user
Barron Park
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:50 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 10:50 am
An amusement park????
That is not something I would suggest for this spot. Are we (Palo Alto residents) that hard up?
Registered user
Barron Park
on Apr 1, 2023 at 11:02 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 11:02 am
We don't need to build an amusement park out at the baylands. Has anyone considered what will happen when global warming shoves sea levels far beyond predictions. If the glacier Thwaites goes into a full melt down as it appears it will, sea level will increase by, I think I read something like 7 feet. Aside from that, we need to keep the wildlife out at the baylands intact. If you must, build it somewhere else, not at the baylands.
Registered user
Crescent Park
on Apr 1, 2023 at 11:35 am
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 11:35 am
Sounds awesome. Sitting in a cubicle in a 1960s-era tilt-up! Your ticket requires (not “allows you”) to remain in the park until exhausted. The driving game involves sitting in an immobile “car” on a simulated 101.. The park attendants only speak in technical jargon (do you want a PN or NP pizza? For just $5 extra you can have the crust made of strained Si). Insanely great!
Registered user
Duveneck/St. Francis
on Apr 1, 2023 at 12:00 pm
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 12:00 pm
Lol, today I learned how many people do not read the full story before commenting!
The Silicon Valley Bank Collapse "drop" tower was a good one!
Registered user
Midtown
on Apr 1, 2023 at 12:37 pm
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 12:37 pm
There are some things that make sense, a tech-themed interactive science experience/museum for example (not at all competing with the excellent cal academy). But an amusement park seems a bit ridiculous.
Registered user
another community
on Apr 1, 2023 at 2:05 pm
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 2:05 pm
I just saw the dinosaurs of Cabazon yesterday. Another theme park that was begun and then left as a reminder that pipe dreams never come true after the City lacks funding to complete. A better mousetrap conceived on an acid trip. As reported by an anonymous source ;)
Registered user
Charleston Meadows
on Apr 1, 2023 at 2:15 pm
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 2:15 pm
Brilliant all around!!
Registered user
Professorville
on Apr 1, 2023 at 3:59 pm
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 3:59 pm
The Palo Alto Weekly has been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize in humor writing for all of the great news stories today!
The writers there have the talent to put Palo Alto on the map!
Registered user
Mountain View
on Apr 1, 2023 at 4:10 pm
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 4:10 pm
This had me going for a while. In other years it would not have, but with the recent negativity (mostly unjustified in my view) about Silicon Valley in the press, I was starting to wonder if we had finally jumped the shark. I think (hope) that there is still enough lucrative R&D to be done that we won't be resorting to gimmicks any time soon.
Registered user
Adobe-Meadow
on Apr 1, 2023 at 7:59 pm
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 7:59 pm
I think it’s a great idea and falls in line with my post a couple weeks ago suggesting ways to make Palo Alto a destination city. Redwood City had its Marine World, right? Santa Clara had its Great America. It’s our turn.
Registered user
South of Midtown
on Apr 1, 2023 at 11:47 pm
Registered user
on Apr 1, 2023 at 11:47 pm
Fred - yes, of course the park will be floating! This is essential to allay potential concerns about sea level rise and proximity to the bay.