Dear friends of ACS,
It is with great sadness that I write this email to inform you of the death of a Gunn High School student earlier (Tuesday) morning. We extend our sincere condolences to his family, the school and to his friends. At ACS we are concerned about them and also about students at other schools who have heard of the news and are now touched by this tragedy. As you know, a tragedy like this can affect vulnerable students and adults as well who may have experienced trauma in their lives in the past. ACS has been pulling all the resources needed to respond in a timely and appropriate fashion to the crisis at hand. We are closely working with Gunn and the district as we respond to their needs. Many of our licensed psychotherapists as well as our clinical interns have been asked to go to Gunn today and will be standing by in case they are needed at that site in the days to come. We also have a meeting scheduled in the morning to discuss how ACS can better help the community cope with this tragic loss in the days and weeks to come.
On a personal note to you all, it is important that you allow yourself to react and feel the impact of this tragedy! I agree that is it is hard, difficult and scary to fully comprehend what really happened today. But we can not ignore it or stuff it deep down within us because of how difficult it is! Your sole responsibility as adults at this moment is to open up and freely discuss your genuine reactions to such a tragic event with your family, loved ones, and your friends. But most importantly, talk to your kids! And listen to them! Let them express their fears, reactions and feelings. Give them the space to express how they feel and allow them to begin the process of grieving for the loss of a peer. Let them know you love them and that you will always be there for them no matter what!
On a clinical note, it is unfortunate that a tragedy such as this also reminds us that it is really important to continuously have an open and frank discussion about suicide, depression and emotional disorders. As difficult as those topics may be, talking about them actually helps!
Best Regards,
Philippe
Philippe Rey, Psy.D.
Executive Director
Adolescent Counseling Services
"Helping teenagers find their way"
650-424-0852 ext. 101
Comments
Old Palo Alto
on May 6, 2009 at 11:27 am
on May 6, 2009 at 11:27 am
A big thumbs up for ACS! I've had 6 kids use their services and even though they resisted (big time)at first they wound up looking forward to their sessions.
AYCS is a safe place to express whatever you are feeling in complete total confidence. It's on some of the school campuses so it's convenient access and it's free!!! What's more, a lot of kids of all types use it so no one has to worry about they will be perceived. Kids go for all sorts of reasons from stress in their academics to drug abuse to family/relationship problems.
If you are hurting and can't tell anyone you know, CALL THEM! It's completely confidential, not even your parents have to know!
JLS Middle School
on May 6, 2009 at 11:34 am
on May 6, 2009 at 11:34 am
A real tragedy.
Just a point of clarification - minor students in PAUSD are NOT allowed to receive counseling services unless written approval is obtained from parent or guardian.
Old Palo Alto
on May 6, 2009 at 2:59 pm
on May 6, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Oh, ok. Didn't think the parents had to be informed. I don't recall signing agreements for all six kids that I required use their services. I am pretty sure though that all sessions are confidential and parents are not privy to what was discussed between counselor and student.
Am I correct?
Gunn High School
on May 6, 2009 at 4:53 pm
on May 6, 2009 at 4:53 pm
I would go to counseling if my parents didn't have to know.I guess I have to wait until I graduate.
South of Midtown
on May 6, 2009 at 5:27 pm
on May 6, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Here is what the law says in the State of California for Outpatient Mental Health Services:
“A minor who is 12 years of age or older may consent to mental health treatment or counseling on an outpatient basis if both of the following requirements are satisfied: (1) The minor, in the opinion of the attending professional person, is mature enough to participate intelligently in the outpatient services (2) The minor (A) would present a danger of serious physical or mental harm to self or to others without the mental health treatment or counseling or residential shelter services, or (B) is the alleged victim of incest or child abuse.” (Cal. Family Code §6924".
So given the law, in most cases then the health care provider is required to involve
a parent or guardian unless the health care provider decides that involvement is inappropriate. This decision must be documented in the minor’s record. It is however important to note that California law gives health care providers the right to refuse access to records anytime the health care provider determines that access to the patient records requested by the [parent/guardian]would have a detrimental effect on the provider's professional relationship with the minor patient or the minor's physical safety or psychological well-being. The decision of the health care provider as to whether or not a minor's records are available for inspection under this section shall not attach any liability to the provider, unless the decision is found to be in bad faith.
Old Palo Alto
on May 6, 2009 at 9:36 pm
on May 6, 2009 at 9:36 pm
To Student, PLEASE go see a counselor if you want to. The first visit does not need to be pre-approved by parents; only before you come the second time do you need to have parental permission. If you can't see an ACS counselor, then PLEASE find another adult who you can trust to talk to: a school guidance counselor, a teacher, a former teacher, a minister or rabbi or spiritual counselor, or the parent of a friend.
I always tell my kids' friends that I am available to talk to them and I will only tell their parents if I think they are in danger of physically hurting themselves or someone else. Many counselors and adults are on campus this week for the purpose of talking to students like you -- those who just need someone to talk to.
Do you think your parents would be glad you didn't see a counselor after you had done something like hurting yourself? Of course not; no matter what they love you and your safety and well-being are the most important thing to them.
Gunn High School
on May 6, 2009 at 11:08 pm
on May 6, 2009 at 11:08 pm
I'll be okay.
Old Palo Alto
on May 7, 2009 at 12:00 am
on May 7, 2009 at 12:00 am
Student? I've taken in many troubled kids to live with me and I made attending ACS a mandatory condition to living with us because we were laying out our own money to take care of these kids and we felt that the least we could request in return is that they had a safe place to vent.
I swear I never signed six permission slips and I swear there was no interaction between the counselor and myself unless the kid requested it.
Now is the perfect time to seek help even if you tell your parents that you, like everyone else at school, are totally stressed and upset by what happened to your classmate. You can go in for that, then get into your own difficulties.
My own kids not only used ACS but went to the Childrens Health Council too. No matter what the age and the fact that I paid the bill for their therapy, even when I asked they would not reveal to me one word that passed between my kids and their therapist. I Swear this also to be truth.
Dr. Rey please break it down to this kid and maybe some others who are reading this in simpler terms.
Take it from high school age, not an immediate danger to themselves and just totally in need of someone safe to talk to who will keep their secrets.
Is this ACS?
Another Palo Alto neighborhood
on May 7, 2009 at 8:53 am
on May 7, 2009 at 8:53 am
ACS
I read Mr. Rey's quote in the Daily Post today and I found it irresponsible to say this young person "could have been really low, and then on his way to school, here comes the train - boom" and then goes on to speculate that what was going through this young person's mind was "here comes the train, and at this moment I could end it all"
Suicide has been studied enough to know that just being "low" is not a sufficient precondition
pinning the blame on Palo Alto standards, and parents keeping an eye on kids, or kids keeping an eye on kids, and rushing everyone into counseling may be a part of it but
I would urge the press and the schools to add a medical analysis of suicide, and any or more of the latest scientific research on this serious medical condition.
Impulsivity is only one among the various explanations for how suicide happens. By the time you add up all the conditions, you can eliminate the majority of the population from being worried about it.
It's a disservice to those grieving, or to the kids seeing this happen to not provide comprehensive medical and scientific information.
El Carmelo School
on May 7, 2009 at 10:14 am
on May 7, 2009 at 10:14 am
Impulsivity, depression, sadness, anxiety, etc…when a child as young as kindergarten starts having these feelings and other behaviors, the school staff needs to hear the families. Many times, schools overlook these voices who are screaming for help. Blame is placed on parents without fully understanding mental illness. Staff needs better training so that early signs are recognized to prevent such horrible tragedy as suicide when our kids are most vulnerable. PAUSD listen to families concerns, embrace them, and collaborate together. We too have been patients of children's health council and received valuable therapy, but for some reason, some children's formal diagnoses are overlooked by schools, therefore, don't receive the proper support to help them succeed and overcome the feelings of failure, depression, low self esteem, etc.
Barron Park
on Nov 18, 2009 at 7:49 am
on Nov 18, 2009 at 7:49 am
Can anyone tell me - Is the Adolescent Counseling Services on Middlefield the same group as the one on Sherman Ave?
Barron Park
on Nov 18, 2009 at 9:03 am
on Nov 18, 2009 at 9:03 am
My bad - it says on their web site that they are related