Holiday Spirit

Friends for Youth mentor Christine Akhtar and mentee Joanna Solis in 2013. Courtesy Christine Akhtar.

Posted November 19, 2021

Friends for Youth is in the business of making human connections
Mentorship program helps strangers become friends

by Jocelyn Dong / Palo Alto Weekly

When Joanna Solis was 13, her favorite aunt died of ovarian cancer, and the sudden loss left Solis utterly bereft.

"She was like a second mom to me, and at that time, at 13, it's very hard to process something like that, especially having never come across anything death-related before," Solis, now 21, recalled this week.

None of her friends had gone through a similar loss, so they couldn't understand how she felt. "And I didn't feel like I could talk to my parents about it because they were dealing with adult issues of their own," Solis said.

That same summer, Christine Akhtar was searching for a way to give back to the community. She and her husband had moved from Chicago a few years earlier so he could attend graduate school at Stanford University.

"I had grown up just being around a lot of kids' gatherings where we had cool mentors and ... just people to look up to," Akhtar said. "And throughout my early 20s, I was kind of teaching classes at church and just liked to hang out with that middle school/high school age group. ... I felt like I had the personality for that age group — a little sarcastic, not taking things too seriously — whereas their parents or older figures might not be people that they would confide in."

Enter the Palo Alto nonprofit organization Friends for Youth , a mentorship program that has been pairing adults and kids ages 8 to 17 since 1979. Through a matching process that Akhtar remembers as rigorous, including safety checks and assessments of interests, Akhtar and Solis were paired with one another.

"We instantly hit it off," Solis recalled. "I feel like I really got lucky. She's probably one of the most awesome and nicest people I have ever met."

At the time, they shared passions for Pinterest, baking and getting their nails done.

"Christine is just a very 'soft' person overall. So I felt instantly very comfortable around her, and she was super nice and understanding and was very easy to talk to," Solis said.

Every year, Friends for Youth matches anywhere from 30 to 50 mentors with mentees, asking them to commit to spending time together for at least six months. More than 85% of them do. And some continue on for years. The organization states it currently serves about 300 mentors, mentees and their families, or 1,200 people from San Francisco to San Jose.

This past year, it received a $3,000 grant from the Palo Alto Weekly Holiday Fund to increase its capacity to aid youth.

"Mentoring and positive relationships are needed now more than ever in the midst of the pandemic, skyrocketing rates of depression and social isolation, and plummeting emotional well-being of our kids and their families," Cecilia Chu, the organization's executive director, wrote in the group's application for a Holiday Fund grant.

To help the mentors and mentees bond, the nonprofit offers mentor trainings and gives away free tickets to events and local cultural institutions (mentors and mentees agree to follow strict COVID-19 safety protocols). Akhtar and Solis spent a day at the Monterey Aquarium and participated in a clean-up event at a zoo, among other events.

But it was the more mundane activities that have meant the most to Solis and Akhtar.

"Honestly, the times that I think we got the closest were just, like, running errands," Akhtar said. "You know, running silly errands and being in the car, where you really get to chat and learn about each other's lives."

Sometimes, those simple things make the biggest impact, Solis agreed.

"I remember we went back to her apartment (once), and we watched a movie and we baked cookies. I remember to this day how delicious those cookies were," Solis said. Unlike going to outside events, "it was more about the connections we were building — and the memories."

Recent research is revealing the impact that a mentor can have on a young person's life. It's not just Solis who has benefited from having an adult to lean on.

The Minnesota-based nonprofit organization Search Institute, which promotes positive youth development and advances equity through research and practical solutions, has found that positive relationships are essential to helping young people succeed and contribute to their communities.

"After decades of conducting surveys, analyzing data, and writing journal articles, Search Institute researchers and practitioners have arrived at a surprisingly simple conclusion: nothing — nothing — has more impact in the life of a child than positive relationships," said Peter L. Benson, the creator of Developmental Assets and former Search Institute president and CEO.

It's now been eight years since Akhtar and Solis met. Akhtar has become a mother of four, and Solis is studying respiratory therapy in college and working part-time at Town & Country Village in Palo Alto.

Over time, their relationship has evolved into a close mutual friendship, they said.

"When I was 13, (our conversation would) be about shows and just little things. And now if I have any questions having to do with adult life, like credit cards and things like that ... it's something that I can go to her about," Solis said.

The pair also talk about broader societal issues, including race relations. Solis is Mexican American and Akhtar is Filipina American.

"I feel like she and I can also bond and talk a lot about certain issues that are going on in the world right now. And I feel like we have really great conversations," Solis said.

Recently the pair celebrated Solis' 21st birthday with a dinner at Sundance the Steakhouse in Palo Alto. It was a special way to celebrate a special person who has come into her own, someone whom Akhtar describes as a good friend to others, loyal, kind, sweet and mature beyond her years.

"I'm just in awe of her ability to rise above any of the challenges that she's been through. Her wanting to be somebody for her own self has been awesome to see develop," she said.

Reflecting on her role as a mentor, Akhtar said she's learned how to give wise advice to Solis while not crossing the line into trying to be her parent — especially when sensitive topics arise.

If there's reassurance Akhtar can give to prospective mentors, it's that just showing up and caring is enough.

"I'm a person who likes giving gifts. But I've realized that those things, those grand gestures, are not necessary to form a genuine, meaningful relationship," she said. "It's really just being there as a support for them."

"They just need you to be around. And they need you to be just a constant presence — somebody who will listen."

Apply for a Holiday Fund Grant

Nonprofits serving children and families may apply for funds by downloading our Grant Application Guidelines and Grant Application Form. Application deadline: 11:59 p.m. on Friday, January 12, 2023.

Make a donation
2023 Recipient Agency
Able Works$10,000

Acterra$15,000

Ada's Cafe$25,000

Adolescent Counseling Services$7,500

Art in Action$10,000

Art of Yoga Project$5,000

Aspire East Palo Alto
Charter School
$5,000

Bay Area Friendship Circle$5,000

Beyond Barriers
Athletic Foundation
$5,000

Big Brothers Big Sisters
of the Bay Area
$5,000

Blossom Birth and Family$5,000

Canopy$5,000

CASA of San Mateo County$5,000

Christmas Bureau of Palo Alto$7,500

Community Legal Services
in East Palo Alto
$10,000

Counseling and Support
Services for Youth (CASSY)
$15,000

Downtown Streets Team$15,000

DreamCatchers$15,000

East Palo Alto Academy
Foundation
$10,000

East Palo Alto Kids Foundation$15,000

East Palo Alto Razorhawks
Rugby Football Club
$5,000

Eastside College
Preparatory School
$7,500

Ecumenical Hunger
Program
$10,000

Environmental Volunteers $7,500

EPACENTER$25,000

EPATT (East Palo Alto
Tennis and Tutoring)
$20,000

Family Connections$7,500

Fit Kids Foundation$5,000

Foundation for a
College Education
$15,000

FRESH APPROACH$5,000

Fresh Lifelines for Youth$5,000

Friends for Youth$5,000

Friends of the Palo Alto
Junior Museum & Zoo
$10,000

Heart and Home Collaborative$10,000

Hidden Villa$10,000

Hope Horizon East Palo Alto$7,500

Jasper Ridge Farm$5,000

Kara$15,000

Lauren's House 4 Positive
Change
$5,000

Learning Home Volunteers$10,000

Mannakin Theater & Dance$5,000

Music in the Schools Foundation$7,500

My New Red Shoes$5,000

Nuestra Casa de East Palo Alto$10,000

Palo Alto Art Center Foundation$10,000

Palo Alto Community
Child Care (PACCC)
$20,000

Palo Alto Players$10,000

Peninsula Bridge$10,000

Peninsula College Fund$10,000

Peninsula Healthcare Connection $10,000

Peninsula Volunteers$15,000

Pursuit of Excellence
Scholarship Foundation
$20,000

Ravenswood Classroom Partners$20,000

Ravenswood Education
Foundation
$10,000

Rebuilding Together
Peninsula
$7,500

REEL2e$5,000

Rich May Foundation$5,000

Riekes Center$5,000

Rise Together Education$15,000

Rosalie Rendu Center$5,000

Sager Family Farm$5,000

Science is Elementary$5,000

Silicon Valley Urban
Debate League
$7,500

StreetCode Academy$10,000

The Circuit EPA$5,000

TheatreWorks Silicon Valley$5,000

UNAFF (United Nations Association
Film Festival)
$10,000

Vista Center for the Blind
and Visually Impaired
$10,000

WeHOPE$15,000

WomenSV$7,500

Youth Community Service $25,000

Child Care Grants

AbilityPath$10,000

All Five$10,000

Children's Center of the
Stanford Community
$5,000

Children's Preschool Center$5,000

Covenant Children's Center$10,000

Grace Lutheran Preschool$10,000

Palo Alto Community
Child Care (PACCC)
$10,000

Palo Alto Friends Nursery School$10,000

Parents Nursery School$10,000

The Learning Center$10,000


As of December 9th, 165 donors have contributed $162,337 to the Holiday Fund.
* indicates amount withheld at donor's request

22 Anonymous3,820
Freddy & Jan Gabus250
Susan & Doug Woodman200
Jan Thomson and Roy Levin250
Jerry & Linda Elkind250
Eileen & Rick Brooks1,000
Carol & Mahlon Hubenthal*
Peter & Beth Rosenthal 1,000
Linda & Steve Boxer*
Kate & Marvin Feinstein2,000
Nina & Norman Kulgein250
Alicia Newman50
Laurie Hunter & Jonathan MacQuitty1,000
The Havern Family10,000
Trish Mulvey100
Delle Maxwell1,000
Richard Johnsson5,000
Chris Logan100
Bruce & Jane Gee500
Ann and Don Rothblatt500
Lynn and Andrew Newman*
Robert & Micki Cardelli*
Boyce & Peggy Nute*
Diana Diamond500
Jean MacDonell100
The Ely Family1,000
Charles Smith & Ann Burrell*
Sally & Craig Nordlund500
Chris & Anne Saccheri5,000
Donna Bohling & Doug Kalish100
Margo Sensenbrenner*
David Kalkbrenner*
Daniel & Janis Tuerk*
Alan Cooper100
Roy & Carol Blitzer*
Barbara & Charles Stevens*
Susan Perry*
Elizabeth Salzer & Richard Baumbartner500
Betsy & George Bechtel200
Karen and Dick Olson500
Thomas Rindfleisch*
Bruce & Mary Beth Train500
Fran Codispoti250
Desmond Lee & Carl Jukkola150
Jane Paulson3,000
Michelle and Omar Baldonado100
Larry Hyde*
Jeanne Ware*
Judy Ousterhout*
Faith Braff500
Keith and Linda Clarke*
Tess & Eric Byler100
Bonnie and Bryan Street*
Kroymann Family250
Martha Shirk1,300
Charles Williams200
Jesse Dorogusker and Jennifer DiBrienza1,000
Arthur Keller500
Jean Dawes1,000
Marjorie Bridges25
Sallie and Jay Whaley*
Joyce & Gerry Barker*
Ed & Linda DeMeo500
Julie & Jon Jerome*
Leif and Sharon Erickson500
Cynthia Costell150
Veronica Tincher*
Chris Kenrick1,000
R Zuanich200
Judy & Tony Kramer*
Paul & Sarah Donahue2,000
Barbara Riper*
A.C. & Kathryn Johnston250
Steven Feinberg10,000
Bonnie Packer & Robert Raymakers1,000
Ellen Turbow500
Dan Pappas250
J. W. Morton100
Barbara Klein*
William Debord2,000
Bruce & Jane Gee1,000
Richard Johnsson500
Ken Bencala & Sally O'Neil100
Ted & Ginny Chu*
Dixie Storkman100
Greg & Penny Gallo500
Andrea B. Smith100
Andrea B. Smith100
Scott and Jan Kilner500
Ted and Ginny Chu*
Penny Barrett*
Kay Remsen*
Jody Maxmin*
Roger V. Smith500
Marcia & Michael Katz*
In Memory Of

August L. King*
Lew Silvers*
Arden Down250
Michele Wilson50
Hannah & Helen Peterson100
Paul Seaver*
Rich Hlava*
Walter Dean345
Bob Donald300
Jim and Dottie Mellberg*
Andre Jones*
Ray Bacchetti300
Jackie Boner*
Leo and Sylvia Breidenbach*
Thomas and Louise Phinney*
Jack Sutorius750
Jenna Hilleary750
E Yanosh ALT20
Werner Graf*
Aaron O'Neill*
Dan Logan100
Darla Tupper3,922
Bob Kirkwood*
Kathy Morris*
Bob Donald*
Nancy & Robert Lobdell*
Ruth & Chet Johnson*
In Honor Of

Brian Chancellor.*
Mandy Lowell*
Jill and Brian Bicknell*
The Liggett Family*
Marilyn Sutorius750
Bill Johnson*
As a Gift for

Alexandra Hsieh200
Sally Werling100
Businesses & Organizations

Judd Properties*
Agile Physical Therapy1,500
Harker School1,500
Bank of the West1,500
Chan Zuckerberg Initiative5,000
Kaiser Permanente5,000
Stanford Federal Credit Union5,000
Stanford Medicine10,000
Wealth Architects5,000
DeLeon Realty5,000
Wilson Sonsini Foundation5,000
Delores Eberhart DDS*
Peery Foundation 10,000
Arrillaga Foundation10,000

Past Holiday Fund Grant Recipients

2018-2019 | 2017-2018 | 2016-2017 | 2015-2016 | 2014-2015 | 2013-2014 | 2012-2013 | 2011-2012 | 2010-2011 | 2009-2010 | 2008-2009 | 2007-2008 | 2006-2007 | 2005-2006 | 2004-2005 | 2003-2004 | 2002-2003 | 2001-2002 | 2000-2001 | 1999-2000