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COUPLE'S NET

"I" Statements that are Actually "You" Statements

No, that's not a typo. I hear these a lot when I encourage partners to use "I statements" or to share how s/he is feeling. Here are examples of what to...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Apr. 23, 2021
Last comment by McMadilyn, on Apr 29, 2021 at 4:45 am | 5 comments | 7833 Views

COUPLE'S NET

"What Did You Do?"

On a recent warm afternoon, I noticed a man riding his bike with a huge mixed bouquet of flowers in his basket. I watched as he turns north from Willow onto Middlefield,...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Apr. 16, 2021
Last comment by Chandrama Anderson, on Apr 27, 2021 at 7:27 pm | 4 comments | 6882 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Porn

I realized I have not written about porn, and that it would be a good idea to do so. This could be a huge topic with lots of offshoots, but mostly I want to share...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Apr. 9, 2021
Last comment by Chandrama Anderson, on Apr 15, 2021 at 3:10 pm | 5 comments | 9113 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Love (not Zero)

Once while soaking up the beauty of Taos, New Mexico, and the surrounding mountains, valleys, rivers, Rio Grande gorge, aspens, wild flowers, desert terrain, thunder...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Apr. 2, 2021
There are no comments yet. 6612 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Trust

"Trust is habitual reciprocity that becomes coated by emotion." - David Brooks* What a fantastic definition of trust. I am often asked, "What is...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Mar. 26, 2021
There are no comments yet. 8800 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: Does Size Matter?

All joking aside, a tidbit on gender and the emotional brain in Scientific American Mind (SAM) July/August 2013, shares that women have a larger caudate nucleus...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Mar. 19, 2021
There are no comments yet. 10081 Views

COUPLE'S NET

You, Me, and our Marriage (Three Entities)

Recently I wrote about the Isaacs definition of love, and it got me to thinking again about the third entity: your marriage (as in each of you and your relationship...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Mar. 12, 2021
There are no comments yet. 8974 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: How Long is Your Restoration Cycle?

When you get upset with your partner and a repair is made, how long does it take for your emotions, thoughts, and body to restore to equilibrium? I can almost...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Mar. 5, 2021
There are no comments yet. 8476 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: What Happens in Vegas Doesn't Stay in Vegas

What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas--NOT! Even though there is little traveling now due to Covid, the principles here still hold. These two quotes are from...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Feb. 19, 2021
There are no comments yet. 9624 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: "I - You" Statements

"I - You" Statements. No, that's not a typo. I hear these a lot when I encourage partners to use "I statements" or to share how s/he is feeling....

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Feb. 12, 2021
There are no comments yet. 8712 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: "Now I Trust in the System"

While maintaining confidentiality, I wanted to share this quote I heard in my office a while back. I've been training another therapist in Couples Counseling,...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Feb. 5, 2021
There are no comments yet. 9269 Views

COUPLE'S NET

"To a man, talk is work; to a woman it's reward."

"Men talk . . . all the time . . . in normal daily intercourse, men never shut up . . . Three men building a stone wall. Talk, talk, talk. . . On and on . ....

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jan. 29, 2021
There are no comments yet. 9187 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Know a Book Agent or Publisher?

Dear Readers, I hope you are all as well as can be during this time. I am humbly asking for your help if you know a book agent or someone in traditional publishing...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jan. 21, 2021
Last comment by Chandrama Anderson, on Jan 24, 2021 at 12:52 pm | 2 comments | 9586 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: Join the Club . . .

. . . of women who do not complain about their husbands (and talk with them instead). On the one hand, some women will not say negative things about her husband...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jan. 15, 2021
There are no comments yet. 8277 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: Do Women Truly Want Men to be Vulnerable?

I think women want men to be emotionally vulnerable. I don't think women want men to be career, financially, or physically vulnerable. This is a conundrum. For...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Dec. 31, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11704 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: Emotional Forensics

If you've watched a crime show or read a mystery, you know the investigator looks at the crime and then works his or her way back to figure out what happened, and...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Dec. 24, 2020
There are no comments yet. 9185 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: In-Laws and the Holidays: Three Tips

I hope you have wonderful, loving, accepting in-laws. Whether you do or not, here are three tips for in-laws and the holidays: 1. Remember that you and your partner...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Dec. 18, 2020
There are no comments yet. 10087 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Please Join Me: Donate to Second Harvest Food Bank

I urge you to make a donation to Second Harvest Food Bank. If each of you who reads this donates even $5, that could bring in at least $10,000, providing 20,000...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Dec. 11, 2020
There are no comments yet. 10189 Views

COUPLE'S NET

"Calling Invisible Women" [and Men] by Jeanne Ray

Calling invisible Women is an entertaining novel, but it really got me thinking about how women -- or men, may become invisible in a relationship. In the story,...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Dec. 4, 2020
There are no comments yet. 9803 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Couples and Premarital: Personal Weather Report (TM)

Your partner can not read your mind, and my husband can not read mine, either. You actually have to say what's on your mind. One homework exercise I like to give...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Nov. 27, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11033 Views
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