"To a man, talk is work; to a woman it's reward." | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto Online |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

"To a man, talk is work; to a woman it's reward."

Uploaded: Jan 29, 2021
"Men talk . . . all the time . . . in normal daily intercourse, men never shut up . . . Three men building a stone wall. Talk, talk, talk. . . On and on . . . Ad nauseam . . . When they finish and it's time to relax, that's when they shut up. Have you ever seen workmen eating lunch? . . . Not one word. With women it's exactly the opposite. We get down to work, and . . all business, only shorthand talk allowed . . . But when the pies are in the oven, they sit down with their cups of tea and the fun begins. To a man, talk is work; to a woman it's reward."

- From the novel "Three Stages of Amazement" by Carol Edgarian

I found this quite striking and wonder what you think?

We know from research that men do "side-by-side" talk (e.g., while a ball game is on and they are sitting next to each other, playing golf, during an activity). Women have "face-to-face" talk (sitting down facing one another or in a group of friends to talk about things).

What, then, is couple's talk? Cross-gender talk? Is it this simple why it can be difficult for men and women to talk? Timing? Activity or not? Where you sit?

I propose you and your partner devise a few experiments for talking. Try talking while walking; while sitting side-by-side; while face-to-face; while doing an activity or chore. Try them more than once since there are so many potentially impacting influences (tired, in a hurry, more or less open at the moment, etc.). See what happens.
We need your support now more than ever. Can we count on you?

Comments

There are no comments yet for this post

Follow this blogger.
Sign up to be notified of new posts by this blogger.

Email:

SUBMIT

Post a comment

Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

Stay informed.

Get the day's top headlines from Palo Alto Online sent to your inbox.

Michelin-starred chefs bring Korean & Taiwanese fare to State Street Market in Los Altos
By The Peninsula Foodist | 1 comment | 5,140 views

Premarital and Couples: I look like THAT??!!
By Chandrama Anderson | 0 comments | 3,071 views

I am a covid coward – and also angry at anti-vaxxers
By Diana Diamond | 9 comments | 1,059 views

 

Meet the Winners

To show appreciation for the local business community, readers voted for their favorite places to eat, shop, work out or spend time with family and friends. The Palo Alto Weekly is proud to unveil this year's Best Of recipients and Hall of Fame honorees.

View Winners