"You Gotta Have Balls [to do counseling] . . . | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto Online |

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Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

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"You Gotta Have Balls [to do counseling] . . .

Uploaded: Aug 16, 2019
. . . It's really scary, taking a look at yourself."

A man said this to me yesterday while asking for my help. It is scary, it does take balls (or the female equivalent), it is hard work, it is exhausting, it does mean facing the parts of yourself that you wish would just go away and stop impacting your life today.

The things you least want to look at are often the ones in the way. But it can be less obvious issues that challenge you: e.g., being scared wasn't allowed in your family growing up, and your partner, an only child, is recently an adult orphan (both parents died), and she's scared, often. Now what?

Usually people come to therapy when the pain of the situation is worse than the fear of change.

The great news is that you can change, your brain can create new neural pathways; in other words you can get out of the rut. Would you like to flourish? What can you imagine? What do you hope for?

Do you have the guts?
What is community worth to you?
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