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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

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Couples: Philosophy of Love

Uploaded: Nov 9, 2018
“You are open and honest in your philosophy of love.” This was in my fortune cookie yesterday, and is a great topic for couples. What is your philosophy of love? Are you living it with your partner today?

From what I see in my clinical practice, we all have ideals and look to fulfill those with our partner. However, I’ve noticed that each person’s meaning about many things is different; and often not talked about in detail. We assume we mean the same thing by our words and actions; and we may be hurt by words and/or actions that have specific meaning to us.  Often, our partner means something else.

I encourage you to be open and honest, first with yourself, about your philosophy of love, and then with your partner. Many people are afraid that “If only s/he really knew me, s/he wouldn’t love me.”

I would like to turn that around: If you don’t show up in your relationship as authentically as you can, then who is there for your partner to love?
We need your support now more than ever. Can we count on you?

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