By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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"TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com’s annual Real Weddings Study revealed that the average amount spent on a wedding in 2012 was $28,427, with couples dropping more cash than they have in the past four years on all aspects of the event."*
Manhattan brides spend an average of nearly $3000 on a dress. Wedding flowers range from $200 to $20,000. Wedding photography and videography can cost $1000 to $10,000 and up, each. The reception can cost $45-$200 per person, so with 200 people, $9000-$40,000. Now add costs such as venue, DJ, music, alcohol, reception, honeymoon, etc.
Phew, that’s a lot of money—especially for one day.
But what’s missing from the budget of a wedding? Premarital counseling.
You want to be set up for a happy marriage for your entire lifetime. You want to have tools to use when things get rough, or a curveball is thrown your way (and they will be). You want to access the feelings of happiness from your wedding day, every day.
This is why I suggested to a bride-to-be last week that they add premarital counseling to their gift registry. She guffawed. “That’s brilliant!” she said. “It’s so obviously the most important thing.”
If you’ve just gotten married, or your wedding is really close, time-wise, do the counseling anyway. The opportunity is not lost.
So, do you want one more kitchen gadget, or to live happily after?
* Huffington Post