By Cheryl Bac
E-mail Cheryl Bac
About this blog: I'm a wife, stay-at-home mom, home cook, marathon runner, and PhD. I recently moved to the Silicon Valley after completing my PhD in Social Psychology and becoming a mother one month apart. Before that, I ran seven marathons incl...
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About this blog: I'm a wife, stay-at-home mom, home cook, marathon runner, and PhD. I recently moved to the Silicon Valley after completing my PhD in Social Psychology and becoming a mother one month apart. Before that, I ran seven marathons including Chicago and Boston. Exercise is an integral part of my life. I hope to one day go back to long distance running and tackle the New York City Marathon. Right now I run after my one year old son. Although I am a stay-at-home mom, we are rarely "at home." My mom also stayed at home with my brother and me. She warned me that, although rewarding, it can be isolating. So, with her help, I learned the importance of getting out into the community and meeting other mothers. On the rare occasion when I am at home and have a hand or two free, I squeeze in time to scrapbook. As a new mom, many challenges are thrown my way. I hope my opinions, triumphs, and struggles help experienced parents reminisce, new parents cope, and parents-to-be get an honest glimpse of what the first years of motherhood can entail.
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When you are a new parent it is easy to get into the habit of talking about your little one as if he is not there. You openly and honestly discuss your parenting worries, struggles and disappointments with other new parents hoping to form friendships and get support.
However, as your newborn grows up into a toddler, it can be difficult to switch from talking about him all the time to realizing that he can overhear some of these conversations.
Now that I am parenting a baby and a toddler, many people ask me how the transition is going and whether they get along. From the close friend to the stranger at the grocery store, some weeks I am asked this type of question daily if not more so.
I feel very lucky that (at least so far) my kids do get along and my response can be a quick "yes, very well" or a more detailed response with sweet examples about him helping out his little sister - bringing her a pacifier when she is crying, turning on music to soothe her, etc.
When lost in the newborn daze, it would have been so easy to forget that I'm not only replying to this question multiple times a week but my son is hearing it multiple times a week as well.
I don't know exactly how I would have responded if the transition wasn't going smoothly. Would I really want my son to constantly overhear that the transition has been rough?
When I see a mom with a baby and a toddler I also ask how the transition is going. However, I'm starting to wonder if I should ask a question that is easier for her to answer when her toddler is within earshot.