We need to know our spouse gets us. We are competent, intelligent people that can solve a problem.
What we all want is to be loved. We know we are loved by being seen, heard and given empathy. Having each others' back. Seeking comfort and sex from one another. Creating a home that is a haven.
I know you've read this on Couple's Net before. It's because these are the basics.
Sit with her/him. Breathe through your own discomfort. Reflect back what you hear and offer words of empathy (that must feel . . .; sounds hard . . .; you wanted it to go a different way . . ., etc.) Just be there, supporting, caring, loving.
Hold back the fixing words. In the end, it will fix your marriage.
Photo by imelenchon