Couple's Tone and Body Language | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto Online |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

Couple's Tone and Body Language

Uploaded: Jul 7, 2014
Last time I wrote about observing couples' communication through tone and body language. I want to clarify that we can not assume what is going on from what we see.

She could be using the tone because she believes she can't get his attention any other way by this time. She could use the tone because that's how her parents communicated. She could be using the tone because she has a hearing problem. She could be using the tone because she is exasperated with him . . . or . . . ?

He could be throwing up in his hands in defeat. He could be throwing up his hands to say, "Enough!" He could be throwing up his hands to wrest control or power in the conversation. He could be throwing up his hands because that's how his parents communicated.

We can't look from the outside and know what is going on, or what their story is.

What we can do is continue to obverse our own tone and body language; when we're out in public, and once we get home.

Ask yourself: Is this how I want to treat my beloved? If so, do more of it. If not, devise experiments and try a calmer or different tone, quieter or greater body language.

See/notice/hear how it goes.
We need your support now more than ever. Can we count on you?

Comments

There are no comments yet for this post

Follow this blogger.
Sign up to be notified of new posts by this blogger.

Email:

SUBMIT

Post a comment

Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

Get fact-based reporting on the COVID-19 crisis sent to your inbox daily.

'Buck's will never die.' After 29 years, owners pass longtime Woodside favorite to their sons
By Elena Kadvany | 6 comments | 5,612 views

Kids and sugar: A cautionary tale
By Sherry Listgarten | 8 comments | 3,155 views

Do peaceful protests do any good? How about the more violent ones?
By Diana Diamond | 7 comments | 2,122 views

Traffic Lights for the Whole Family
By Chandrama Anderson | 0 comments | 1,020 views