Couple's Tone and Body Language | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto Online |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

Couple's Tone and Body Language

Uploaded: Jul 7, 2014
Last time I wrote about observing couples' communication through tone and body language. I want to clarify that we can not assume what is going on from what we see.

She could be using the tone because she believes she can't get his attention any other way by this time. She could use the tone because that's how her parents communicated. She could be using the tone because she has a hearing problem. She could be using the tone because she is exasperated with him . . . or . . . ?

He could be throwing up in his hands in defeat. He could be throwing up his hands to say, "Enough!" He could be throwing up his hands to wrest control or power in the conversation. He could be throwing up his hands because that's how his parents communicated.

We can't look from the outside and know what is going on, or what their story is.

What we can do is continue to obverse our own tone and body language; when we're out in public, and once we get home.

Ask yourself: Is this how I want to treat my beloved? If so, do more of it. If not, devise experiments and try a calmer or different tone, quieter or greater body language.

See/notice/hear how it goes.
What is community worth to you?
Support local journalism.

Comments

There are no comments yet for this post

Follow this blogger.
Sign up to be notified of new posts by this blogger.

Email:

SUBMIT
Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

All your news. All in one place. Every day.

'Are they ready for fully innovative Indian food?' Ettan arrives in Palo Alto with chaat, caviar and a secret menu
By Elena Kadvany | 0 comments | 3,684 views

Flying: How to lower your impact
By Sherry Listgarten | 12 comments | 2,615 views

Premarital and Couples: Here Be Dragons!
By Chandrama Anderson | 0 comments | 2,130 views

Goodbye toy stores
By Cheryl Bac | 12 comments | 1,684 views

Pseudo-Primary for CA Senate District 13: some thoughts
By Douglas Moran | 3 comments | 1,322 views

 

Short story writers wanted!

The 34th Annual Palo Alto Weekly Short Story Contest is now accepting entries for Adult, Young Adult and Teen categories. Send us your short story (2,500 words or less) and entry form by March 27, 2020. First, Second and Third Place prizes awarded in each category. Sponsored by Kepler's Books, Linden Tree Books and Bell's Books.

Contest Details