By Cheryl Bac
E-mail Cheryl Bac
About this blog: I'm a wife, stay-at-home mom, home cook, marathon runner, and PhD. I recently moved to the Silicon Valley after completing my PhD in Social Psychology and becoming a mother one month apart. Before that, I ran seven marathons incl... (More)
About this blog: I'm a wife, stay-at-home mom, home cook, marathon runner, and PhD. I recently moved to the Silicon Valley after completing my PhD in Social Psychology and becoming a mother one month apart. Before that, I ran seven marathons including Chicago and Boston. Exercise is an integral part of my life. I hope to one day go back to long distance running and tackle the New York City Marathon. Right now I run after my one year old son. Although I am a stay-at-home mom, we are rarely "at home." My mom also stayed at home with my brother and me. She warned me that, although rewarding, it can be isolating. So, with her help, I learned the importance of getting out into the community and meeting other mothers. On the rare occasion when I am at home and have a hand or two free, I squeeze in time to scrapbook. As a new mom, many challenges are thrown my way. I hope my opinions, triumphs, and struggles help experienced parents reminisce, new parents cope, and parents-to-be get an honest glimpse of what the first years of motherhood can entail. (Hide)
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We constantly hear that we should put down our phones and be fully present
with our children. We should give them our undivided attention
and save email, Facebook and other "unnecessary" activities for when they are asleep.
Personally, I find it important to also remember that my son doesn't want my undivided attention 100% of the time. When we are at home, it's not uncommon for him to occupy himself with his trains or cars. During these moments, I don't hesitate to flip through a magazine myself, work on a blogpost, check email, etc.
And when we are at a play date, he interacts with the other toddlers and I interact with the other parents. Of course, there are moments during these outings that he alone gets my undivided attention - but most of the time I am splitting my attention between him, other parents, my phone and the other kids running around.
I've found that it is during these moments, when I am only giving my son partial attention, that I notice great growth. One night, after my husband finished reading our son a story (with undivided attention), we started talking about our summer plans. Our son decided that he was not done reading, grabbed another book, sat in my husband's lap and said his first clear sentence "I read book."
Similarly, a few weeks ago my friend and I were taking our last stroller walk over to Moniques. During our walk, we chatted and were surprised when the kids started to do the same. My son told his friend about the truck, police car and motorcycle across the street.
Do you find that your kids ever benefit from your divided attention?