Congratulations!

I am so lucky to have family in town and I rarely have to actually hire a babysitter. My parents stayed with our older child while we were in the delivery room, but I decided to send my husband home for the night that I was in the hospital. I figured one of us should get a decent night's sleep in order to get ready to care for a newborn and a toddler.

When my neighbors were getting ready to have their second, knowing they didn't have family in town, my husband and I offered to take their 2 year old overnight. I know they appreciated the fact that he was safe and well cared for so they could bring his baby sister into the world.

I truly believe that's what being a neighbor is all about. It really does take a village and I hope our residents never forget that.

Erin - Thank you! And thank you so much for sharing your story. What wonderful neighbors you are. It absolutely does take a village. I can't wait to hear more about your experiences with a baby and a toddler at home. I bet your husband appreciated the extra sleep... I can only imagine the exhaustion when baby #2 arrives.

This has always been an expected problem but never materialized for us. When our second and subsequent child came along, we were able to arrange for parents to fly in for several weeks to cover the expected couple of weeks that the new arrival would arrive, worked out well each time.

However, I have had a couple of emergency hospitalizations which were totally unexpected. For the first, my church took over the babysitting rota for the 8 days I was hospitalized and although we never knew quite who would turn up next, my husband was able to visit me, get to his office and be adequately fed. The second time was much shorter but my neighbor dropped everything and was able to just take my kids with hers for the several hours my husband had to be away until I could return home and take over.

It is a worry when family live far away. It is important to have a support group of friends who can take the place of family and be available at a moment's notice. Likewise, I have always found that I can do more than I thought when somebody I knew really needed help.

Having a second or subsequent child is at least a forewarning. Having an emergency appendicitis or similar, can be much more of a time of critical help need. We should all be able to do our part to help others in such a need as we never know when it might be us who are in need of the help.

Mother of 4 - Thank you for sharing your story. Yes, it is nice to have nine months to prepare for the arrival of another child, even if the exact date and time of arrival are unknown. Childcare during unexpected hospitalizations both during and outside of pregnancy can be much more difficult to deal with. I'm so glad to hear that you have a wonderful network who could support you during times of need. And it sounds like you passed the generosity on to other families as well.

How about the husband stays home? Husbands are only in delivery room out of guilt. I told my husband to take of our other kids, at home, and I will produce the next child. It worked out well.

Congratulations, Cheryl! Our friends have come through us many times when we have had unexpected events arise. One of my fondest personal memories, was being the neighbor called on when a friend delivered her third baby. I got the call at 4 am, crossed the street, bid the parents adieu and got to greet their kids in the morning and announce their sibling was being born. It was a terrific honor!

Sal - Thanks for sharing your story. Did you hire a doula or have anyone else join you at the hospital for support? I think some spouses want to join their wives at the hospital (to join in the joy of baby being born, welcome the baby, offer support, be there if complications arise, etc).

Jessica T - Thank you! It's great to hear that you had a support network in place. I can imagine it was fun to hear the siblings' reaction when they heard that they could meet the baby soon.

Cheryl,

I didn't know what the term "doula" meant. There was always a nurse there, though, and she was important to me, for her experience. I always requested a nurse who had given birth, herself. I never wanted my husband there, because it is too messy and too painful, and I wanted our relationship to be based on pleasant thoughts, if possible. I heard too many women screaming horrible things about their husbands, when they were in labor. I didn't want my husband to hear such things, even if not from me.

My husband stayed home, and that was a gift to me. And to him.

Sal - It's great to hear that you felt supported by a nurse at the hospital. I'm glad that you found a solution that worked well for you and your husband. It is definitely a gift to know that your kids are in safe hands while the next one is being born.

I share the desire for privacy and didn't want my husband around too much, but this old fashioned idea made me cringe:
>I never wanted my husband there, because it is too messy and too painful, and I wanted our relationship to be based on pleasant thoughts, if possible.

Made me cringe - There is so much diversity in the choices women make for their labors and deliveries. How did you juggle the desire for privacy and childbirth?