Today is Yesterday's Tomorrow | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto Online |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

Today is Yesterday's Tomorrow

Uploaded: Mar 24, 2014
Aside from being questionably deeply philosophical, there are practical considerations for couples in this statement. "I'll work on our marriage tomorrow."

Unfortunately for many couples, they wait six years ? yes, six years ? before getting help. That is definitely enough time for rose-colored glasses to become clear and then brown (you do know what I mean).

What can I do today to improve my marriage?
- I can step back and little and notice what is going on between us.
- I can look for my part in our interactions.
- I can determine if I am living out what I said in my vows.
- I can take three deep breaths before I answer my beloved.
- I can remember that he is my beloved.
- I can come home earlier.
- I can turn off my devices at 8 PM and engage with her.
- I can wonder about my own defenses to intimacy.

I hate to be the reminder of bad news, but we all have limited time here on Earth. When we're 85 and looking back on life, what will have mattered? Are we doing what we believe matters?

My good friend who is a financial planner and strategist says if you want to know your priorities look at your checkbook (credit card statements) and your calendar.

Ask yourself: Where am I right now? Take three deep breaths. Look around and notice in great detail what you see. What do you hear? What do you notice in your body? Do you feel a breeze on your skin, sweat, the steering wheel under your hands?

So before it's tomorrow again, what matters today?
We need your support now more than ever. Can we count on you?

Comments

There are no comments yet for this post

Follow this blogger.
Sign up to be notified of new posts by this blogger.

Email:

SUBMIT

Post a comment

Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.
Sponsored

6 Steps to master the home buying process during a pandemic
Your no-stress guide to buying a home no matter what the circumstance.

 

Get important election coverage sent straight to your inbox daily.

Vons drops Korean fried chicken on downtown Redwood City
By Elena Kadvany | 1 comment | 22,638 views

Are our recycling bins too big?
By Sherry Listgarten | 10 comments | 2,464 views

I am Voting Yes on Measure RR to Provide Caltrain a Dedicated Revenue Source
By Steve Levy | 5 comments | 1,514 views

Premarital and Couples: See "Buck" for Couple's Tips
By Chandrama Anderson | 0 comments | 1,480 views

Nov. 3 -- a critical election that will determine our future
By Diana Diamond | 8 comments | 1,165 views

 

Benefiting local non-profits

The 36th annual Moonlight Run and Walk is Friday evening, October 2, wherever you are! Proceeds go to the Palo Alto Weekly Holiday Fund, benefiting local non-profits that serve families and children in Santa Clara and San Mateo Counties. Join us under the light of the full Harvest Moon on a 5K walk, 5K run, 10K run or half marathon.

Register Today!