By Cheryl Bac
E-mail Cheryl Bac
About this blog: I'm a wife, stay-at-home mom, home cook, marathon runner, and PhD. I recently moved to the Silicon Valley after completing my PhD in Social Psychology and becoming a mother one month apart. Before that, I ran seven marathons incl... (More)
About this blog: I'm a wife, stay-at-home mom, home cook, marathon runner, and PhD. I recently moved to the Silicon Valley after completing my PhD in Social Psychology and becoming a mother one month apart. Before that, I ran seven marathons including Chicago and Boston. Exercise is an integral part of my life. I hope to one day go back to long distance running and tackle the New York City Marathon. Right now I run after my one year old son. Although I am a stay-at-home mom, we are rarely "at home." My mom also stayed at home with my brother and me. She warned me that, although rewarding, it can be isolating. So, with her help, I learned the importance of getting out into the community and meeting other mothers. On the rare occasion when I am at home and have a hand or two free, I squeeze in time to scrapbook. As a new mom, many challenges are thrown my way. I hope my opinions, triumphs, and struggles help experienced parents reminisce, new parents cope, and parents-to-be get an honest glimpse of what the first years of motherhood can entail. (Hide)
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As a new parent, it's easy to get into a routine - the same playgroups, restaurants, storytimes, and parks week-in and week-out. If an activity occurs between nap times and keeps little one occupied for 30+ minutes, what's not to love about it? And during these activities, it's also easy to gravitate toward others who are going through similar parenting challenging and who hold similar parenting views, opinions and strategies. Who wants to argue when these outings could be your main source of adult conversation for the day? Instead you most likely want to feel heard, understood, and accepted.
Recently I've come across a couple of articles
about ending the "mommy wars." I don't encounter "mommy wars" during my everyday life. We are lucky enough to live in an area that is filled with many new parents. If you don't get along with someone, just turn your head and strike up a conversation with one of the other twenty parents at the event.
The main divide I experience is between my friends who decided to stay at home and those who returned back to work full-time after maternity leave. It's not that we are fighting a war, but that it's a challenge to coordinate schedules when not only considering nap times and kid-friendly environments but also work obligations and traffic. Because of this, we don't always bump into each other.
Nevertheless, a couple of weeks ago we were lucky enough to grab lunch with one of our dear working friends. Although our 9-5 lives differ, the conversation flowed almost seamlessly (even with some squirmy toddlers at the table).
Not only is it wonderful to shake things up a bit and reconnect, but it's a great reminder that although our choices may differ, our friendships can stay strong. I know eating lunch together wont "end the mommy wars," but it seems to help those of us with very young children stop a war from from starting in the first place.