By Max Greenberg
E-mail Max Greenberg
About this blog: I developed a special interest in helping seniors with their challenges and transitions when my dad had a stroke and I helped him through all the various stages of downsizing, packing, moving and finding an assisted living communi...
(More)About this blog: I developed a special interest in helping seniors with their challenges and transitions when my dad had a stroke and I helped him through all the various stages of downsizing, packing, moving and finding an assisted living community. I live in Palo Alto with my wife and we have three grown children, one still in college. I have been in the Bay Area since 1977 (except for seven years in Newton MA — just missed all that snow too much.) I've worked in sales and marketing in retirement communities for seven years, and have hired and managed home care workers for family members, and have a pretty good idea of how aging in place, or shopping for and selecting the right retirement community works. I now run my own business, Palo Alto Senior Living, providing real estate and senior transition services. This blog is designed to share my experiences, insight and knowledge with seniors and their baby boomer kids and provide useful information to help develop a roadmap for smooth transitions or aging in place. I welcome readers to share their experiences, both good and not-so-good, in the hope that we all can benefit from each other.
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I was playing basketball recently and the first couple of shots I took didn't go in. It just wasn't going to be my night I thought. That happens sometimes. Nothing's going in. With those thoughts in mind, I kept missing. Until I remembered those three little words: "Up until now." Such a simple concept: You can actually change the results you are getting by freeing yourself from that self-limiting thought that it's "not your game", or "this always happens to me", or "I always screw this up."
That person who says "I always get lost" when they're going to some particular destination? Guess what? They always do. It's pre-ordained, in their mind. They might have a very good chance of breaking that cycle using those three little words "Up until now." They are giving themselves permission to stop screwing up, stop making the same mistake over and over again.
My mother-in-law (the sweetest woman, I miss her dearly) was one of those folks who always lost her keys. Never failed. I wish I knew those three words then when she could have used them. Losing those keys was a foregone conclusion. In her mind. She didn't have a chance.
Back to the game. I stopped missing and started hitting my shots. Then I started shooting and expecting they would all go in. It was incredible. I haven't missed a shot in 6 weeks (yeah, and I'm Steph Curry's shooting coach.) But I did go on to make a bunch of shots. "Up until now." Try it. It works for every situation where you find you are continuing to fail and think it's pre-determined to happen that way. You can control your self-talk! Or it can control you. You make the call.
