Dealing with life's changes

Most of us are wary, if not outright afraid, of changes over which we have little control. But the manner in which we respond to change can be among the most important choices we make.

Carol McClelland, a Palo Alto consultant, explains that we can embrace change "with, a quiet, open heart" or we can try to avoid change by trying to "rationalize, deny or escape." The first approach is obviously the healthier one, despite the difficulties.

In "The Seasons of Change," McClelland articulates three theories of change. The first, change by replacement, occurs when we try to replace what we have lost. According to the author, it is an "all or nothing approach" that paralyzes us, precluding the changes needed to move on.

The second type of change, by formula, involves change by a prescribed set of rules, which may or may not be adequate to the task and doesn't allow us to deal with deeper issues.

The last model is change by magic: In this approach, we hope for a fairy tale-like solution to our problems--and alas, says McClelland, magical thinking rarely serves us well.

McClelland then presents various types of change--self-initiated vs. forced change; anticipated change vs. unexpected change; "good" change vs. "bad" change; timely change vs. untimely change--and discusses decision making and taking action.

It is easy to give examples of these types of change--loss of a partner (unexpected), child going to college (anticipated), leaving a job (self-initiated), being laid off (unexpected) and so on.

The seasonal metaphor is used as a conceptual framework to explain the nature of change and phases of human existence. Summer is living easy, fall is an indicator of a shift occurring, winter is confused and emotional, spring is exciting and the return of summer is confidence in a new role.

Since seasons occur throughout one's life, the metaphor fits many transitions. The object of the book is for readers to understand the nature of change, to have a greater awareness of their responses to it, to begin to master inevitable change and to turn it to their advantage by making change an ally.

McClelland creates an early warning system that helps readers learn signals that are precursors to change. Her model involves understanding when something isn't working well, thinking about it, determining what one wants, taking action and enjoying the results.

There are simple tests in the book to measure how well the reader is integrating the material, illustrations of how McClelland's model of the seasons applies to us and many references for suggested reading. She notes how to evaluate one's current support system and whether it is working, how to strengthen that system and when to seek professional help.

The premise of the book--to make change an ally and to see it as a natural part of life--is an important one. Using the seasonal metaphor helps us see change as a natural event.

The book is particularly useful for people struggling to accept and adapt to unwelcome change. It is pragmatic and has a positive, action-oriented approach. The examples of change presented are those with which we are all familiar.

While the use of the seasonal metaphor is at times heavy-handed, the material should help the reader consider change in a more positive light, as well as provide an array of tools for using change to one's advantage.

Anne Sturmthal Bergman is a local free-lance writer.



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