Publication Date: Wednesday Jan 31, 2001

Stress is teens' big enemy

True or false? Children should be seen and not heard. "False, false, false. Nothing could be further from the truth," says Palo Alto parent Nancy Goodban.

"It's time to involve the kids in decision-making," Goodban said. "It just doesn't make sense not to bring them in on discussions."

To prove her point, Goodban, who is on the Board of Advisors for Palo Alto-based Adolescent Counseling Services (ACS), has her organization taking part in a conference today to discuss the top emerging issues for youth in Santa Clara and San Mateo counties. "This is the first one of its kind. And it's high time it happened," Goodban said.

Findings of experts who work with youth, as well as teens themselves, were culled into eight specific issues, which will be discussed in today's conference, at the Palo Alto Medical Foundation.

"The one issue that really jumped out at me is the stress these kids are feeling," foundation education director Becky Beacom said.

"We live in an area with high expectations academically, competitively and athletically--sometimes unrealistically high," she said. There are kids in seventh grade whose parents insist on them taking courses to prepare for the SAT's. "That places in an incredible burden on a child," Beacom says.

"Stress can lead to depression and only a very few are getting help," she said.

Ask 18-year old Angelo (AJ) Isaac. "Sometimes you can just feel the stress and tension in a classroom," the Gunn senior said. "It's huge." The stress is so prevalent, he says, that he devised an outline of what he sees as the three types of stress in high school students.

1. Stressed Out. AJ says these are the hyper kids who are always running around, always worried about homework, always on the edge.

2. It Just Comes Easy. "That's me," he said. These kids always get good grades, they do the work, and it's not a big deal. They're low key. "They don't let things get to them."

3. Average Kid. This is the biggest category. Most kids need to work pretty hard. They try to keep the level of stress down, and they get okay grades, he said.

AJ, who at 6 feet 2 inches tall, 180 pounds and still growing, is Gunn's football team's strong safety. He admits to being "pretty tough." He suspects he was chosen for the forum's youth panel because he's "outspoken, street smart, and an extrovert."

He said that besides the stress, "there's a another big unspoken problem." Palo Alto is not all that politically correct when it comes to race, AJ says. "As a young black male who's going to be successful, I feel the tension. It's real," he said.

And it's not just Gunn High School. On the other side of town, Palo Alto High School students feel their share of pressure.

"There's no question I'm overscheduled," Paly High senior Adam Riff says. As an editor of the school newspaper, Campanile, and Student Body Secretary, Adam has his work cut out for him. He said he maintains grades of A's and B's, but "I find myself staying up all night to deal with the homework. Something's got to give and it's often sleep," he says.

"There is considerable pressure to get good grades and go to a good college," he said. "Stress has pretty much been a constant in my life." 

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