Publication Date: Wednesday, May 11, 2005
All for one ...
All for one ...
(May 11, 2005) Schools making greater efforts to bring parents into the community
by Alexandria Rocha
Yvette Mitchell felt like an outsider when her oldest daughter started kindergarten at El Carmelo Elementary School four years ago.
For one, her family lived in East Palo Alto. Secondly, she ran a full-scale daycare out of her home, which left no time to volunteer or socialize with the new school community.
That first year, Mitchell did what she could. When Elisha's kindergarten classroom held parties, she would take the dishes home to wash. She would also donate materials whenever possible.
Elisha is now in the fourth-grade and her two younger siblings are also attending the Bryant Street school. Mitchell has overcome her feelings of isolation and is now on the school's executive PTA board. She also volunteers in classrooms twice a week and does yard duty every Friday.
This next school year, Mitchell is determined to help an incoming family avoid feeling like an outsider. The school's PTA has developed the New Family Buddy Program, which will match "veteran" families with new ones -- whether the children are transferring or starting kindergarten -- in hopes of integrating the fresh faces as early as possible.
"A lot of times you're not really comfortable at first. No one really approached me or tried to get to know me, but later on I realized you just have to find the time to get involved," Mitchell said.
Programs to help parents of incoming students are not completely new in Palo Alto, but are on the rise. Duveneck Elementary School has operated its Host Family Program since 1990 and Jordan Middle School PTA members have given welcome calls to some of their new families for the past four years.
While Addison Elementary School has run a buddy project for two years, Hoover Elementary School will begin its system next year.
"You want volunteers. You want people giving to Partners in Education and a trust and community about the place. That helps when you have parents getting together and becoming quite friendly together," said Dave Charleson, Hoover's incoming PTA president.
Most schools also set up ice cream socials or barbecues for new kindergartners and their parents before the academic year starts, but those events are mostly meant to connect the children before class begins.
Programs like El Carmelo and Hoover's New Family Buddy Programs are designed specifically to guide the adults through the often stressful transitions of switching schools or sending kinders off for the first time.
The programs are needed, El Carmelo's incoming PTA president Erina DuBois said, because many parents don't join the PTA until they feel comfortable -- which is often not until their student is in the third- or fourth-grade.
"A lot of people say, 'I remember when I started here, it seemed like everyone was already friends,'" said DuBois. "I remember trying to reach out to people and trying to get involved. If it wasn't for another mom helping me out, I would have been overwhelmed by everything."
The demands on parents' schedules have also reached an all-time high. A parent's calendar these days is cramped.
After all, there are spirit days, third-grade movie nights, pizza parties, pancake breakfasts, deadlines for sports teams that pass six months before the season, Girl Scout and Boy Scout sign ups, and "coffee with the principal" days. What about trends in teacher Christmas gifts? Or, where do you find the lunch menu postings? The list goes on and on.
In January 2004, Elisa Schmit's five-member family uprooted from Pittsburgh, Pa. -- where they had lived for 13 years -- to accommodate a career change for Schmit's husband. With two daughters already in elementary school, the transition was tough on Schmit, who wanted it to go as smoothly as possible.
"I felt when I first came that I was on my own. I sort of had to be the impetus and the one to seek out people," she said. "I think I would have been able to apply myself a little earlier if the buddy program had existed. As in life, everyone has to take charge and make their own way through whatever system, but it's a great idea, building on the old-fashion welcome wagon."
Besides taking in the basics from "veteran" families, Schmit said learning the plethora of opportunities available is invaluable. There are various summer camps and after-school activities that someone new to the area may not find until someone points them out, she said. Tips on dentists and doctors are also helpful.
Schmit has already signed up to be a "veteran" family.
"You're dealing with other familial issues and your child's sense of disconnect. If you can find some connection it makes it a lot easier," she said.
Since Mitchell has joined the school community, she has also noticed a change in not only her children, but others from East Palo Alto.
"I'm happier; they're happier. I can really see a difference," she said. "When you look in their faces, you can tell it really makes them feel good to see someone from their community working in the school."
E-mail a friend a link to this story. | 
