Publication Date: Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Board of Contributors: Connecting the intergenerational dots ...
Board of Contributors: Connecting the intergenerational dots ...
(March 30, 2005) by Jeff Blum and Emily Blum
The very same week the Weekly (March 16, 2005) reported on plans for a proposed teen center at Mitchell Park we discussed planning for Intergenerational Week festivities for this year.
Other members of the Human Relations Commission were consulted, as well as Leif Erickson, the head of Youth Community Services, and Sheila Mandoli, who works for Palo Alto Community Child Care, about organizing this year's Intergenerational Week celebration -- which begins May 15.
In the discussions, we realized that we complain about the lack of understanding and isolation existing between generations -- but what about really doing something about it?
Then, we had an epiphany. It was like one of those connect-the-dots pictures coming together: In addition to a Teen Center at Mitchell, what about creating an Intergenerational Center?
Many seniors already use the Mitchell Park library branch during the day, most vacating to make room for after-school teenagers in the midafternoons -- in the absence of programs to bring them together, encourage more overlapping and connections.
And the next idea rushed upon us: If we establish an Intergenerational Center it should be named after Sheila Mandoli.
Sheila (pronounced Shila) is Palo Alto's unofficial guru on intergenerational relations. It is one of her passions. She volunteers many hours throughout the year to improve intergenerational relations.
We made friends with Sheila last year while planning local festivities for Intergenerational Week, which was first celebrated in the early 1990s and is commemorated internationally.
We met with Sheila several times at the Palo Alto Café. Together, we wrote a Guest Opinion for the Weekly (May 12, 2004) about the isolation existing between generations and ways we hope to help end that isolation. We appeared on local Media Center television for a Community Journal piece on the same subject.
Through Sheila, we learned the extent to which grandparents, parents and children have emotionally and geographically separated from one another in the last several generations. We reminisced about the old days when families spent Sundays together at Church or Temple and over a family meal instead of shopping at Costco or otherwise running around on separate errands.
Sheila breaks down barriers between the generations. She leaves you wondering why you do not spend more time with younger and older people. She fosters a better understanding of the challenges and stresses each generation faces. Sheila gets neighborhood associations, senior centers and the schools involved in doing intergenerational activities together.
Youngsters and oldsters interview one another. They share meals. They discuss the music and foods they like and the things that drive them crazy about their respective generations -- such as why oldsters go so slow to the frustration of youngsters who have far too many deadlines to meet, or why youngsters go so fast to the terror of oldsters.
Sheila suggests ways the generations can learn from each other and ways for continual interaction, not just interaction during one week.
Our involvement with Sheila last year was like receiving an unexpected gift from someone whom we dearly love. Revealing our hopes and fears and speaking of our appreciation for all that other generations do for us we became more knowledgeable, understanding, and enriched. We grew closer together as parent and child.
We stayed in touch with Sheila during the year and met with her to catch up on each other's lives. We also met Sheila's granddaughter.
We enjoyed working with her so much that we resolved to work together on Intergenerational Week again this year.
As our plans for this year's activities unfolded we became more experienced and creative. This year we will videotape interviews. We hope to include videotaped discussions between our Mayor, Jim Burch and Charles Vickery, a High School student leader; between a formerly unhoused person and Emily, a privileged teenager; between a first-generation immigrant youth and a second- or third-generation adult immigrant; between an African-American youth and an African-American adult; between an Asian-American adult and an Asian-American youth, and so on.
Perhaps these videotapes will be archived in this proposed Intergenerational Center for future use to keep the intergenerational dialogue going -- and as a remembrance to us all of how times used to be.
This Intergenerational Center is meant to be. The stars aligned, the dots connected.
If it does, at the center of making it all happen will be Sheila Mandoli -- a true Palo Alto gem who deserves to be recognized for her hard work in restoring some of the closeness and understanding that existed between the generations not so long ago.
Here's hoping that we one day have a Sheila Mandoli Intergenerational Center in Palo Alto.
Jeff Blum, a family law attorney practicing in Redwood City, is chair of the Palo Alto Human Relations Commission. Jeff Blum can be e-mailed at blumesq@aol.com. His daughter Emily is a junior at Palo Alto High School. She can be e-mailed at SugarQTPie@aol.com.
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