January 14, 2005

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Palo Alto Online

Future careers: medicine, law ... exotic dancing?

by Alexandria Rocha

Although Bill Fried's career day presentation to middle school students promoted exotic dancing and upset parents, he's sticking by his message.

"I didn't see any negative reaction to it. I think this is a tempest in a teapot," he said of his controversial presentation at Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School earlier this week.

"I think eighth-grade kids are much more worldly than we think. They know about sex. They may not be practicing it, but they know about it."

Fried, of Foster City, has delivered the same presentation, entitled "The Secret of a Happy Life," at the school for the past two years. His message is meant to help kids discover their true passions and apply them to professional goals.

After asking the students two questions -- "What are you very, very good at? and "What do you really love to do?" -- Fried presented a list of more than 100 possible careers. Among them, astronomy, badminton, cattle raising, dog grooming, medicine and software.

However, tucked into the list were also exotic dancing and stripping.

The two careers caught the attention of students whose parents, after learning of Fried's presentation, began phoning Principal Joe Di Salvo with serious concerns.

"Those two should have not been in the list. It was inappropriate for sure," he said.

Di Salvo said a maximum of 44 students, all eighth-graders, could have heard Fried's presentation over three sessions. Di Salvo met with the students Thursday to talk about the incident and gave them a letter to bring home to their parents.

Fried, who is president of the managing and consulting firm Precision Selling, said during one presentation a girl in the front row simply queried, "Exotic dancing?"

"I said, 'Sure, that's a potential occupation. I certainly don't recommend that to you now, but maybe some people in here could find themselves doing it later in life,'" Fried said.

The girl, Fried said, then asked how someone becomes an exotic dancer.

"I said, 'Well, you study dancing and then you probably go practice it in clubs,'" he added.

In another session, Di Salvo said a few boys inquired about the job and wanted to know if the "size of your breasts" makes a difference when someone is pursuing a career in stripping or exotic dancing.

"He took that hook, line and sinker and started talking about it in the context of his presentation," Di Salvo said.

Fried's "The Secret to a Happy Life" presentation included other messages that also concerned parents. In a sub-topic titled, "Military service works wonders," he pokes fun at people in the service.

"After you've taken orders from high school drop-outs with marginal IQ's, you'll be motivated to get a college education. ... I majored in dating, drinking and gambling and achieved superior marks in all of the categories," Fried wrote in a hand-out.

Ann Marie Jasse, a parent and the career day coordinator, also sticks by Fried and his presentation.

"It's unfortunate that the stripper information came up, but if you're going to focus on that you're missing the entire point of career day," Jasse said. "My understanding is that there was value on it."

Jasse said she's invited Fried to speak at the school's career day for the past three years. She said he's always done "a great job" and Tuesday's blunder should not take away from the rest of the event.

She did not say whether Fried would be invited back. "If I managed to make some Palo Alto mothers mad, I guess I'm going something right," Fried said.

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