Publication Date: Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Books that bind
Books that bind
(June 09, 2004) Through fiction, local mothers and daughters bridge the generation gap
by Colleen Corcoran
Once a month, in a Palo Alto home, the conversation between a handful of mothers and daughters departs from the usual clichés of finishing homework, setting the table and cleaning rooms. That's because these moms and girls are part of a book club -- a place where generations come together to ponder the merits of blank verse and the struggles and triumphs of fictional characters.
Although book clubs abound in this intellectual suburb, the group is believed to be unique by virtue of its membership -- dual generational and female only. Started three years ago by mothers Grace Liu and Wendy Akers-Ghose, it includes six local families. The daughters are just now completing sixth grade.
Members say the club has helped them gain insights into each other as well as the literature.
"I know what my mom thinks about things," said Gabrielle Liu, Grace's daughter. "I have a better relationship with her because we talk about stuff we understand the same. ... I can see other people's perspectives."
Appropriately, the club itself was inspired by a book -- Shireen Dodson's "The Mother Daughter Book Club." A story of 10 mothers and preteen daughters, the narrative chronicles the positive changes in mother-daughter relationships that resulted from a monthly reading club. Included are suggested reading lists, anecdotes, sample themes and activities.
During each meeting, members of the Palo Alto group relate their general impressions of the book. Often, the host will provide a list of questions to generate conversation. Almost always, mothers ask and kids respond.
"We start out talking about what's in the book and then move to how it relates to us personally," Akers-Ghose observed.
Books are selected in a cooperative manner, with ideas generated either from a reading list that the parents create or following a trip to Kepler's. Kids then pitch their preferences and the parents vote.
Typically, the books selected feature girls as the protagonists.
The discussion circle's first book was "Habibi" by Naomi Shihab Nye. In it, a young girl of Palestinian descent moves from St. Louis to Jerusalem where she familiarizes herself with her new culture.
Though the girls were only in fourth grade, they learned about the protracted conflict between Palestinians and Jews through "Habibi."
A book that sparked the club's most ardent conversation was "The Music of Dolphins" by Karen Hesse, which outlines the struggles faced by a girl raised by dolphins when she must adapt to the world of humans.
Grace Liu said the choices, especially those set in inner cities, help the kids see beyond their own experiences.
"We really try to read books about other lives because here in Palo Alto you just don't know what it means not to have anything," she said.
The hope of most mothers is that books will provide an opportunity to bond with their daughters throughout the teenage years -- a time when children often move away from parents and toward peers.
Grace Liu appreciates the way the club has opened avenues of conversation and allowed mothers to communicate about values.
"Within the context of a social event, you have a chance as parents to select books with meaning for kids. It lets us talk about what we want to teach them," she said. "We're not preaching. We're letting them discover on their own."
Editorial intern Colleen Corcoran can be reached at ccorcoran@paweekly.com.
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