Publication Date: Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Dealing with 'no'
Dealing with 'no'
(March 17, 2004) Local students may find their college choices limited
by Rachel Metz
For many high school seniors, spring is filled with anticipation as they await college acceptance letters.
Gunn High School senior Dylan Stewart knows this firsthand. Right now, he's waiting to hear from several colleges, including his top choice, UCLA.
"You kind of feel everything is out of your hands with how the application process is going," Stewart said.
Though Stewart isn't too stressed about whether he'll get into his first choice -- he's already been accepted to the University of Oregon, which is one of his safety schools -- he knows plenty of other Palo Alto students are concerned.
"I know from my friends that a lot of people do feel the pressure, they have to get into the good schools to please their parents or, you know, live up to the standards ... the bar their friends have set," he said.
Besides pressure, the fact that it's getting harder and harder to get into colleges could also play a part in students receiving skinny envelopes in the mail. Because of the state's budget crisis, the governor proposed in his January draft budget that the University of California and California State Universities decrease freshman enrollment by 10 percent next year, and an increase over time of students applying to schools all over ups competition for available slots.
So how does a student get over it if the biggest rejection of their life thus far comes through the mail slot in a skinny envelope?
There are a number of ways to deal with it, according to Linda Kirsch, a Gunn guidance counselor and Joyce Kart, a local marriage and family therapist. But the bottom line is students need to make peace with their situation.
One way to deal with rejection is by looking at other options. Students can visit colleges they were accepted to, paying attention to programs or other components of the school they missed in the past, Kart said.
Students should also think about why their "dream school" was so important to them in the first place, she said. Some students have their hearts set on going to college on the East Coast or in Southern California, but if they don't get into their top school in those places they should analyze how much importance they placed on geographic location, she said. If the region was the attraction, they might consider another school in the area.
Some students who are unhappy with all their college options might opt to take a year off or attend a junior college before heading to a four-year school, Kirsch suggested. Local junior colleges, such as Foothill and De Anza, are high-end, she said. At Foothill, especially, there are options to transfer to other schools.
"Foothill is known for having a good reputation for getting kids junior year transfers to Stanford," she said.
Students should think about where their feeling of rejection come from, whether students think they've let their families down or are ashamed to let friends know they weren't accepted to a school, Kirsch said.
"Try to put it in perspective and to not base your self esteem on whether or not you get accepted to your No. 1 college," she said.
Several rejection-busters are more pro-active than reactive. Kirsch suggested students don't apply to any colleges they're not actually interested in attending. She and Kart also said students should apply to three tiers of schools -- dream campuses, those where kids think they have a 50-50 chance of getting in and a few schools they're positive they can get into and, in Kirsch's words, "can live with" going to.
Also, Kirsch said, the rejection could be a way of fate doing you a favor.
"Maybe that would not have been a best pick for you," she said.
For Michelle Arias, a 2003 Paly graduate, this might have been the case. Arias wanted to go to UC Davis but didn't get in.
"Above everything, my heart and soul was completely set upon going to Davis. No. 1 pick -- there was nowhere else I wanted to go at all," she said.
She unsuccessfully appealed the rejection and after some thought went to look at Chico State University, her last-choice school.
Although she still wanted to go to Davis, looking at Chico made her excited about going there, Arias said.
Now a Chico student, Arias said she's happier than her other friends that went off to college.
What does she suggest to students now hoping for their own acceptance letters?
"To just keep an open mind, like really keep an open mind and everything's meant to be," she said.
E-mail a friend a link to this story. | 
