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Stunned into silence

by Rachel Metz

Benjamin Tachibana's freshman school photo in the Paly yearbook eerily appears opposite the page published in memory of classmate Steven Wertheimer, who took his life last October by throwing himself in front of a train.

Tachibana, 15, who appears bright-eyed and youthful in his yearbook photo, headed for the train tracks Friday night as his peers and their parents jubilantly cheered on the football team at the first-ever night game on Palo Alto High School's Hod Ray Field.

Just a few hundred yards from the Churchill Avenue crossing where Wertheimer killed himself that Monday morning, an engineer driving southbound Train No. 86 at 7:45 p.m. saw Tachibana's silhouette in the darkness and attempted to slow down, blowing the horn and flashing lights in warning.

Tachibana didn't heed the signals.

"He turned to the train, like acknowledging he sees it, and then jumped into the path of the train," Caltrain spokeswoman Jayme Kunz said.

Meanwhile, oblivious to what happened, parents and students cheered Paly's win over Mountain View High School. They chatted about the big crowd and the temporary lights paid for by several parents. After the game parents and students dispersed without an inkling of the tragedy just a quarter mile away.

Principal Sandra Pearson delivered the bad news, the second time she had to notify the community of such an event in 13 months, via a parent and student-wide e-mail Saturday.

"I am concerned for the family that we give them the support that they need to see themselves through this very difficult time and I know that members of the community are trying to reach out to them to give them support," Pearson said.

Tachibana's death was ruled a suicide on Monday by the Santa Clara County Coroner's office. No suicide note was found on the scene.

Taken as a single event, Tachibana's shocking death is another mystery of a young life lost. But compounded by Wertheimer's suicide, his death has stunned the community into a somber silence, especially peers who have now lost two teens by the same means.

"Last year it was pretty crazy, like finding out what happened. I'm afraid what the principal is going to say, how people will react," Paly junior Josh Gordon said on Sunday, adding he was afraid of going to school the next day.

The Paly campus was hung with solemnity Monday morning, but unlike the aftermath of Wertheimer's death last fall there was no spontaneous memorial or visibly large outpouring of grief. It was as if the Paly community was numb from the shock. From the evening of his death through Tuesday morning, the tracks remained bare of flowers, cards or mourners. Many students and teachers kept quiet, perhaps in response to Pearson's admonition Monday morning to be careful talking to the press.

Those who shared their memories of Tachibana painted a portrait of a teen who could be outgoing and quiet, who worked hard and was close to his family, yet was enough of a concern to prompt teachers to contact his parents.

One Paly sophomore hung out with Tachibana on the weekends. Tachibana liked Jack in The Box and rap music, he said.

"He was like a really good friend, just a classmate and a buddy, you know? Homie and all that," the parent said.

Tachibana joked, played video games, drew, and loved basketball.

He was "a guy who did his work, a fun guy, a happy guy."

But Paly administrators had concerns about Tachibana, and Pearson said teachers had called his home to "express worries."

"There were contacts made to attempt to see if there was, you know, anything that could be information that needed to be shared, or things that needed to be really addressed together," she said.

Tachibana had also been cut from the school's junior varsity basketball team the day he died, according to Pearson. Tachibana had tried out for the team and failed to make the cut the year before as well.

He had just finished an English project on the book "A Lesson Before Dying" by Ernest J. Gaines. Although the Palo Alto Daily News inferred a possible link between the project and Tachibana's death, the book does not focus on suicide. It deals with life in the American South in the 1940s and the relationship that develops between a wrongfully-accused African-American youth on death row and his Caucasian teacher.

"A Lesson Before Dying" is on reading lists for two Paly English classes.

Tachibana's English teacher, David Cohen, said the teen's death was a shock.

"I didn't see anything, any signs of worry," he said.

Tachibana's family did not return calls for comment. But over the weekend Tachibana's brother, Thomas, a recent Paly graduate, posted lyrics to the Sarah McLaughlan song "Sweet Surrender" on his online journal. The song includes the lines "Are you an angel/ am I already that gone/ I only hope I won't disappoint you/ when I'm down here on my knees and I miss the little things/ oh I miss everything."

Some people posted comments to the journal in support of Thomas and his family.

"I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry and that your family is in my thoughts and my prayers," wrote one respondent. "I'll be there for you," wrote another.

At Paly, students were affected by Tachibana's death. Throughout Monday, counselors from the group Kara spoke with more than 60 students at the school, said Jim Bronson, Kara's director of community outreach and education.

More people wanted to talk to counselors than after Wertheimer's death, Bronson said. The heightened response could be, in part, due to the fact this is the school's second suicide in recent history, he said.

"Research shows that every time you experience a loss, you have to recapitulate all the other losses you've had. Those who experienced last year have had an especially poignant experience this year," he said.

District Superintendent Mary Frances Callan said the district is looking long-term at how to best help students and work with the community, but right now they're focused on the needs of those involved with the tragedy.

"This is the time when you want to just hold your kids a little tighter, you want to do all you can as a family to let those kids know how much you care," Callan said.

Tachibana is survived by his brother, Thomas, sister, Julia, mother, Yumiko and father, Ken.

Rachel Metz can be e-mailed at rmetz@paweekly.com