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22-30+ year old kids living with Mommy and Daddy in Palo Alto

Original post made by James, Midtown, on Aug 1, 2012

When local parents allow their kids to live with them, well after their education is complete (or should be completed), they are contributing to a malaise and a spiraling down of their kids' individual spirits. Trust fund babies are pretty thick in Palo Alto, pathetic kids, but now it is spreading to the middle class. When does the eaglet get kicked out of the eagles nest? There is a big world out there, and young people should face the challenge of it.

Is this current trend a result of the 'self-esteem' movement? Is it child abuse by Mommy and Daddy (especially Mommy)?

Comments (17)

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Posted by HUGE ISSUE - not
a resident of Midtown
on Aug 1, 2012 at 2:12 pm

James -- congratulations!

You're living a pretty special life, with this as your biggest problem!

Well done. Bravo!

What even causes a post like this? Someone's young adult stuck living at home, park his car in front of your house? This is your p/a way of striking back?


 +   Like this comment
Posted by James
a resident of Midtown
on Aug 1, 2012 at 3:01 pm

My concern is what is being done to our kids. What are we teaching them? Aren't we slowly destroying their individual spirits? I think is is a very big issue.

Mother eagles and father eagles kick their eaglets out of the nest, into a challenged world. Too many Palo Alto parents are over-protecting their chicks in the nest. Very bad for the chicks.

Serious issue, IMO.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by HUGE ISSUE - not
a resident of Midtown
on Aug 1, 2012 at 3:15 pm

You go get 'em!

You big government types that want to stick your noses into everything just fry my bacon.

Yum! I love bacon - thanks!

Especially when my mom calls me out of the basement for a BLT lunch with heirloom tomatoes she grows while i blog using dad's internet connection.

Darn, running late! Gotta change outta my jammies and go cash a welfare check!


 +   Like this comment
Posted by James
a resident of Midtown
on Aug 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm

[Post removed by Palo Alto Online staff.]


 +   Like this comment
Posted by palo alto mom
a resident of Duveneck/St. Francis
on Aug 1, 2012 at 4:53 pm

20-30% of young adults live with their parents - this is a nationwide issue, not a local one. Its economics, not a "spiraling down of kids individual spirits" See today's LA times: Web Link

Many young adults contribute much needed $$ to their parents' households.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by palo alto mom
a resident of Duveneck/St. Francis
on Aug 1, 2012 at 4:54 pm

20-30% of young adults live with their parents - this is a nationwide issue, not a local one. Its economics, not a "spiraling down of kids individual spirits" See today's LA times: Web Link

Many young adults contribute much needed $$ to their parents' households.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by James
a resident of Midtown
on Aug 1, 2012 at 5:16 pm

PA Mom,

Do your 22-30+ kids live with you?


 +   Like this comment
Posted by HUGE ISSUE - not
a resident of Midtown
on Aug 1, 2012 at 8:48 pm

[Post removed by Palo Alto Online staff.]


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Posted by Outside Observer
a resident of another community
on Aug 1, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Multi-generational households are common in many Asian cultures, yet their children are not failures.

Granted, this is not the "norm" for American culture, but it is just another indication of the decline of America. A decline that is also exemplified by the 7-figure Eichler houses in Palo Alto. Originally built as the cheapest post-war housing for blue collar workers, they can only be afforded by the top 1/10 of a percent now.


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Posted by palo alto mom
a resident of Downtown North
on Aug 1, 2012 at 10:12 pm

James - my kids are younger, but both of my nephews moved home for a bit after college, got jobs, contributed to the household, did chores and saved some money. They moved out on their own and have been self sufficient since. They enjoyed the time with their parents and appreciated them.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by WhereTheSunShines
a resident of Greendell/Walnut Grove
on Aug 2, 2012 at 8:41 am

James, Life is short, Any time we all have to spend with our loved ones is precious. All other countries excel in strong family bonds due to living with each other for long periods of time. Family are the only ones you can rely on during the good and the bad. Sorry, your family life or lack of experience with children has left you bitter.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by Hearts
a resident of Barron Park
on Aug 2, 2012 at 9:42 am

The original poster's premise is not substantiated with fact, only anecdote. As poster 'Huge' poked him, James only response was an ad hominem attack.

Y'all are being baited. Note James has yet to explain his purpose for the thread. He claims to be concerned for "kids" in their twenties and thirties.

If so, there are plenty of non-profits that would appreciate his support.

As opposed to anonymous blog trolling.

Don't fall for it, folks.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by AnimalInstinct
a resident of Midtown
on Aug 2, 2012 at 9:52 am

I bet James is just another agent!


 +   Like this comment
Posted by James
a resident of Midtown
on Aug 2, 2012 at 10:40 am

Denial is a convenient tool for those who refuse to look at facts. Adult children, allowed to live at home, slowly become emotionally over-dependent on the nest. They are not challenged to face the big world. Such kids are piling up, in Palo Alto, and their parents refuse to help them by kicking them out of the nest.

I told my own two kids that they were on their own, once they finished their education. They both got out of college during the Great Recession. They took service jobs, for low pay, as they continued to look for career jobs. It worked, because they had a good work ethic and demonstrateed it. They brought something special to their job interviews. Both of them are now on career tracks in major corporations. My son gets emails from his old friends, most of whom live at home with Mommy and Daddy, wanting to know how to get "in". He just smiles and tells them to leave home, and face the world on their own. I have also had parents call me to give them "direction". I tell them the same thing: Kick them out tomorrow!


 +   Like this comment
Posted by Hearts
a resident of Barron Park
on Aug 2, 2012 at 10:47 am

[Post removed by Palo Alto Online staff.]


 +   Like this comment
Posted by Q for Editors
a resident of Stanford
on Aug 2, 2012 at 11:48 am

Why was the post highlighting "james" and his lack of factual evidence backing up his claims, removed?

I can talk about my neighbor's kids spending a couple years back while interns, then going on to graduate school and now are on their way as consummate Palo Alto professionals, but, big whoop-de-do, it's just another online story.

Hard facts to substantiate an opinion are the coin of the online realm. My son being a doctor does not a credible claim make. A link to a census showing the number of adults "doubling up" in PA homes, does.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by neighbor
a resident of Another Palo Alto neighborhood
on Aug 2, 2012 at 2:00 pm

How about the PA parents who spoil their teen kids with BMWs? -- then sneer at you when your kids don't have such vehicles.
I have been here long enough to have seen a massive shift towards the "necessity" of such high status, luxury, costly vehicles.
I have experienced such, (as I did not and would never have dreamed of giving my kids BMWs!) and -- regardless of whether such children above move out from home or live at home -- it seems there are a LOT of ways for kids to be spoiled and they and their parents have attitude.


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