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Original post made
on Jul 28, 2012
Old news is old. Stop beating a dead horse and peeling scabs off healing scrapes.
Please stop bringing up the terrible events of the past. I'm all for improved teen mental health screening and better treatment, but using sad incidents to get people to read an article is wrong. It has been proven that the constant mention of it increases the possibility that it will continue. The Palo Alto Weekly is well aware of this. Why do you keep bringing it up in this blatant inconsiderate way?
As someone who seriously considered suicide as a teen, I would like to say that for any teen who supposedly has mental health issues which may lead to tendencies to hurt themselves, that the parents must be examined to see if they are the cause.
I had very strict, authoritarian parents who made my life miserable. I could never reach their high standards no matter how hard I tried. I felt worthless and unloved, but more than that I had no idea that they were the problem and not me. As soon as I moved out and was away from their controls, I became a different person almost overnight.
My gut feeling is that teens are often driven by parents to the state of despair as I was. As a parent myself I have seen similar signs of parents pushing their kids too much and my heart goes out to anyone who is in the situation that I was in.
So please, please, please, look at how the parents treat the kids before diagnosing the kids with mental health issues.
Sometimes it is the parents and other times the child. In any case the entire family needs help if any member is hurting.
In your position, I would like for you to hear that a great deal of medical care is stressful and humiliating for patients, not just mental health care. MOST healthcare is disjointed with very little follow through. Getting healthcare in our system is like having to fly a plane from the back seat. It is very common for people to stop seeking care for all kinds of difficult problems because they feel the medical profession is unhelpful at best, arrogant or patronizing (and unhelpful) at worst. The doctors involved usually never know the negative outcomes when that happens.
I'm not demonizing physicians, most of whom I believe are in the profession because they want to do a good job caring for people. I think most do no understand or appreciate just how hard it can be to seek care, nor how brutal it can be to be very sick (emotionally and/or physically) and dealt with in the way you described.
Suppose to be
This is the way we do it.
Throw it all out the window. They are kids and some kids come with parents with mental illness. Maybe there should be a class called "coping" so the kids have some sense of how to seek it themselves and the adults in the schools should start asking "how are you feeling today" and create a culture that self checks everyone.
Its not one simple solution, its layers of actions
parent of a person who died by suicide
Thank you for working on the issue of teen and young adult mental health issues Dr. Durbin, and to the Palo Alto Weekly for keeping the issue of suicide in the news. We owe it to our children and young adults and adults.
As of January 1, 2012, HP chose SignatureValue HMO offered by United Healthcare of California. Although treating mental health issues is part of healthcare offered by Palo Alto Medical Foundation, the Psychiatry/Mental Health Department chose not to be part of the mental health carve out with United Healthcare West. After being in counseling since week 1 after the death of our son, we did not want to change counselors, but we have had to go less often as we pay out of pocket.
Other HP employees have had to pay out of pocket to continue with their mental health counselors. My husband and HP HR have been unable to get UHC West to make exceptions to choosing someone outside their Mental Health Plan.
As companies change health plan coverage yearly, it is extremely hard to continue continuity in seeing mental health providers.
This is an excellent article about an important effort to improve mental health care for the community. I think it is important to respond to those who anonymously wish that everyone would stop talking about "the terrible events of the past." "Observer" [portion removed by Palo Alto Online staff] even accuses the Weekly of somehow acting improperly by merely mentioning the fact of the suicide epidemic and mental health crisis that Dr. Durbin seeks to abate and treat.
Reporting on efforts to improve mental health care in the wake of a mental health crisis is not "peeling the scabs" off wounds, nor is it somehow "blatant inconsiderate" (sic). It is responsible journalism in which the community receives information about important issues and efforts to address them. [Portion removed by Palo Alto Online staff.]
As the parent of a child who died by suicide, I appreciate Dr. Durbin and the Weekly's effort to keep the community from slipping into the complacent amnesia that some appear to be seeking.
Bravo to Dr. Durbin! She is a true asset to the community and has worked tirelessly to make this happen. Dr. Durbin was one of the first people to step up and offer her help when we were going through this crisis. She spoke on a panel of physicians for Paly and Gunn parents and was extremely effective and well-receive. I know she was doing several other hands-on things to support our community as well. Even more impressive, she didn't drop the issue when it fell from the headlines - she persevered to create systemic changes.
This kind of change takes time and incredible patience - that is what is going on here, not resurrecting a bad memory. Ignoring how badly broken this system us could clearly lead to other tragedies - whatever the source of the depression and despair. Dr. Durbin has demonstrated real courage, compassion and leadership and we are very lucky to have her in our community.
And I second the notion that you should put your actual name with your posts.
Thank you Dr. Durbin and also to the staff at the Weekly for keeping us aware of this important work. Our community stands to benefit greatly by this program and we need to remember the "tragic events of the past" in order to move forward in assuring that none of our precious children fall through the cracks again. We are indeed lucky that Dr. Durbin has chosen our community for her pilot program. I am appalled at the insensitivity of the first two comments on this article. If you are going to remove content from these comments I certainly think that "Stop beating a dead horse and peeling scabs off healing scrapes" qualifies for removal.
Just another attempt to waste a lot of money.
My previous ins also was not taken by pamf for mental health. Even though
I had blue cross for everything else but my company assigned
Mental health to ubh. Now on Medicare, I can go to
Pamf. I noticed there are things in obama's health care plan
Improving coverage for mental health,
So please don't vote for someone who will turn this
All back. It's time mental health is treated as the
Serious disease it is.
[Portion removed by Palo Alto Online staff.]
Stanford and PAMF in fact -implement an appropriate medical solution that worked and is working very well.
Thank you for attempting to make something understandable Dr. Durbin. I am an ex-teacher who saw so many abuses in the school system it was stomach turning. I saw teachers who were tenured have their own children taken out of their home for neglect and abuse. I saw administrators make fun of children. I saw children desperate for anything that made sense when they came from parents who were incompetent. Children have almost no voice. We must advocate for them.
By making an approach to mental health that includes something less fragmented, more consistent, and that applies to adults and minors, children can be part of a whole, not those who are having fingers pointed at them to take the blame. I completely support his effort!
This is a very exciting development. If it works it will be much more effective than changing the school calendar. Thank you Dr. Durbin.
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