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This is what can cause real stress in our high schools.

Original post made by Paly Parent, Palo Alto High School, on Dec 5, 2011

I just received the following email today and I am very annoyed by it.

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Comments (6)

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Posted by parent
a resident of Old Palo Alto
on Dec 5, 2011 at 5:16 pm

I guess they didn't get the memo that the school board wants a *carefree break*.

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Posted by Paly Parent
a resident of Palo Alto High School
on Dec 5, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I'm not sure what annoys me most.

Is it that they somehow found my email address and sent me unsolicited mail that I would not have wanted?

Is it because I know that there are many parents who will sign up their kids for this over winter break?

Or is it because I know that my kids are competing with the kids who are being tutored like this for college places? I want my kids to have a break - like PAUSD board members want them to have - but now I feel guilty because of this if I let them rest.

I can't win! How must the kids feel?

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Posted by Me Too
a resident of Midtown
on Dec 5, 2011 at 7:44 pm

In the long run, I think the kids feel the way we teach them to feel, which is to say the model that we show them. If we react with anxiety and anger, that's the feeling they are likely to internalize; if we are unconcerned and focus on what's important to *us*, then that's what they take away. You can't change what others do, but you have 100% control over your own feelings and actions. Passing that on to our children truly gives them a lifelong asset.

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Posted by Paly Parent
a resident of Palo Alto High School
on Dec 6, 2011 at 8:19 am

Me Too

I agree that kids can get the vibes from the parents. I try to keep my thoughts and emotions on this subject away from them. But, they hear it from their friends and some of their parents and also from teachers. Peer pressure has a lot to do with it too.

I think our kids are aware enough to work a lot of this out from themselves, they don't have to be told to feel stress or even be aware of our stress, to feel the stress for themselves.

There are so few stress relievers out there now and for the parents who are causing more stress rather than trying to alleviate it by enrolling kids in classes like these over winter break, they are adding to the stress. Stress relievers are essential and if the kids aren't getting it from the parents, then who will help them?

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Posted by Chinese Mom
a resident of Palo Alto High School
on Dec 6, 2011 at 8:44 am

No, everyone isn't doing that. The ones who are doing it have robot kids who never smile. Those kids end up having emotional issues later as adults - I've read blogs about it. Somehow, we hear or read these things and think everyone is doing it, though many are not. My son has friends who take classes in grade levels above them so it gives him the impression that he should be doing that too (he is not).

We just have to do what is right for our own children and block out others' plans from our minds. It's more important for my child to be well-adjusted and happy than for him to get into a brand name college. No saying we want him in a no-name college, just not shooting for the Ivy Leagues. So we adjusted his lanes and are limiting the quantity of AP classes.

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Posted by Paly Parent
a resident of University South
on Dec 6, 2011 at 10:11 am

I got an email from a high school teacher explaining that the major homework assignment that would span the break is not really homework over break, but actually is homework before and after break, as long as the student plans properly. That clarifies it for sure.

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