A new policy to allow police and fire personnel to attend funerals in official vehicles and lower flags to honor deceased colleagues may cool a heated confrontation between Palo Alto city management and the firefighters' union.

Both Fire Chief Nick Marinaro and union leader Tony Spitaleri said they want to rebuild what has been a generally solid relationship.

But they agreed damage has been done that may take time to heal.

"The hurt from the willy-nilly comment, that will never go away," Spitaleri, president of Palo Alto's fire union, the International Association of Firefighters Local 1319, said of an off-hand comment attributed to City Manager Frank Benest about when to lower city flags to half-staff.

"There are city protocols about when flags are lowered," Benest was quoted as saying by the Palo Alto Daily News in its July 31 issue. "We want to honor someone who has fallen in the line of duty, (but) you don't lower the flags willy-nilly." Benest is out of town until Aug. 13 and could not be reached for comment.

But Carl Yeats, Administrative Services director who is serving as the city manager in Benest's absence, said Benest has had a lifelong career in public service.

"I'm sure he did not mean to imply he was slighting the union or any firefighter in any way … if he did indeed make the comment," Yeats said Wednesday.

"To minimize that sacrifice is just so disrespectful," Spitaleri said of the quotation.

The quoted comment sparked a furious response from firefighters -- some from as far as the East Coast.

Locally, firefighters were already bristling that Palo Alto didn't participate in the July 27 funeral for two Contra Costa County Fire Protection District firefighters who died while attempting to rescue a couple trapped in a burning house -- in part due to decision delays in Palo Alto and partly due to a mix-up in Contra Costa County.

The situation has become a case study of how fast things can go wrong despite good intentions.

Marinaro said in an interview this week that he had been trying to work through internal city processes to address the firefighters' desire to attend funerals with off-duty fire trucks and to lower flags for in-the-line-of-duty deaths.

But the firefighters' union reacted swiftly when Palo Alto was bumped from a pre-arranged spot to provide back-up coverage for the Contra Costa district the day of the funeral -- a last-minute change made while Marinaro was recovering from surgery and unable to intervene.

Firefighters showed up en masse at the July 30 City Council meeting in matching T-shirts with their families, furious with city officials and Marinaro.

Then Benest reportedly uttered "the willy-nilly comment" to a reporter, not as part of the public meeting. The quotation appeared July 31 in the Mercury and Palo Alto Daily News (both owned by MediaNews) and was picked up in news stories nationwide.

Marinaro told the Weekly this week he is scrambling to resolve a complex situation that has driven a "big, big wedge in this organization."

He said the issue set him back five years in his career-development plans for the department and has taken a personal toll.

"I never thought anybody would call me spineless," Marinaro said.

"I've got to try to heal the organization," he said of his immediate challenge.

He is meeting daily this week with city firefighters and has already helped craft a new city policy that would apply to both fire and police departments. A draft of the policy is awaiting review by Benest and the city attorney's office.

Spitaleri said he is willing to work with Marinaro.

"We've always had a good relationship with our chief and we want to continue to do that," Spitaleri said, adding that union leaders met with Marinaro Tuesday morning.

The underlying issue began several years ago, Marinaro and Spitaleri agree. The family of retired firefighter Bob Makjavich asked to use a truck to transport his body during his memorial.

Before that, the city routinely sent fire engines to regional memorial services for firefighters, according to both Marinaro and Spitaleri.

But using an engine for a retired firefighter was not customary, Marinaro said. So he asked for policy guidance from Benest, who referred it to City Attorney Gary Baum. They decided the engine could be used if it was rented, so the family rented it, Marinaro said.

Then came the June 18 blaze that killed nine South Carolina firefighters, the largest tragedy affecting working firefighters since the Twin Towers collapse of Sept. 11, 2001.

A firefighter asked Marinaro if the department could lower flags and he said he would ask.

Marinaro was instructed that according to federal code only the U.S. president could order the American flag to be flown at half-mast, according to Assistant City Manager Emily Harrison.

Marinaro said he told the firefighters he didn't have the authority to lower the flags.

But Spitaleri said the federal flag code offers an exception: U.S. Code Title 4 Section 7 allows for the flag to be lowered "in accordance with recognized customs or practices not inconsistent with law."

Nonetheless, the issue shouldn't have to be resolved with "all this legal jargon," Spitaleri said. "We don't know why what in our brains is a no-brainer is a difficult thing to resolve."

Then a month later the two Contra Costa County firefighters died.

Spitaleri said the union asked to send one of the city's two back-up engines, staffed by off-duty personnel, to the July 27 funeral. The union would pay for the fuel, he said.

When Marinaro was told by Baum that sending an engine incurred too much liability, he said he tried to do something. He met with Baum and other city staff members on July 24 to figure out "how we can make this thing work."

They decided if the engine was sent for replacement fire protection (to free Contra Costa firefighters to attend the services and procession) rather than as part of a ceremony it would pass muster. There also should be no overtime pay, Marinaro said he was instructed.

But when Marinaro called Contra Costa County he was told the two back-up-coverage spots for Santa Clara County were taken.

Then on July 25 Marinaro learned Milpitas had asked to be in the procession rather than man a station, so a slot opened for Palo Alto. In a further wrinkle, Palo Alto firefighters change shifts at 8 a.m. but the engine needed to leave by 4 a.m., Marinaro said. Three firefighters volunteered to begin work early, without pay.

Marinaro left work that day satisfied it would all work out. He even drafted an e-mail that evening explaining the arrangement to the firefighters. But to send it he would have had to return to the office and he needed to wake early for previously scheduled surgery the next morning.

After the surgery, Marinaro said he didn't feel well enough to read e-mails or listen to voice messages until Sunday, two days after the funeral.

By then it was too late.

On Thursday, the day before the funeral, Palo Alto Fire Marshal Dan Firth was informed Milpitas wanted its back-up spot back, bumping Palo Alto, Marinaro said. Firth sent out an e-mail notifying firefighters of the change.

Marinaro said he would have pleaded, even begged, to keep the city's assignment.

When Marinaro returned to work Monday, the union was already planning its council appearance -- necessary because internal city processes weren't working, Spitaleri said.

Marinaro launched into damage control. Within days, a draft policy allowing vehicle use for funerals had been prepared and a flag discussion was planned. The policy is on-hold for review by Benest.

The new policy would include the Police Department.

Police Chief Lynne Johnson said that during the 30 years she has been in the department, it has regularly sent vehicles, motorcycles and personnel, some on-duty, to funerals of other officers in Northern California.

"It's actually part of the public safety, police culture, not just here but in almost every police department," Johnson said.

When a Palo Alto officer died 10 years ago, officers from many communities came to honor him, she said.

Johnson said the practice was so established she never asked for permission to take the vehicles.

She said the police haven't discussed the flag issue, but that she has heard concerns from some officers recently who hope to continue attending funerals.

Marinaro acknowledges that some people think he should have just lowered the flag or sent the fire engine.

"My philosophy has always been to adhere to policy and rules" and then work to change them if they need improvement, Marinaro said.

"At some point, you have to ask, 'What does your heart tell you?'"

He attributed the firefighters' reaction to "cumulative emotional frustration" and concurred with Spitaleri that fire management and the union overall have had a good relationship.

Marinaro said he isn't expecting the firefighters to forgive him when they meet this week, half-joking that he could be pummeled with apples and tomatoes.

"We just have to try to make it better and move on," he said.

(Staff Writer Becky Trout can be e-mailed at btrout@paweekly.com.)