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In the wake of the May 5 death of a 17-year-old Gunn High School junior on the Caltrain tracks, more than 70 Gunn students have met with campus counselors, Principal Noreen Likins told a meeting of parents Tuesday night in the school library.

School leaders are working to ensure the counseling continues into the summer for some students, Likins said.

The gathering, organized by the Gunn PTSA and titled, "Looking out for our teens," drew about 30 parents concerned about helping their children deal with grief over their classmate's death and wanting to learn to recognize the sometimes subtle signs of teen depression.

Likins said several students in the past two weeks have been sent for counseling based on things they have written or drawn.

The school is also considering establishing discussion groups this fall, Likins told a parent who asked whether group therapy is available on campus.

In addition, teachers have taken time out from classes to provide students opportunities to talk, Likins said.

"We've done our best to provide opportunities and services to meet the needs of students who are struggling. Without exception our teachers have done a really good job in that sense," she said.

Superintendent Kevin Skelly and school board member Melissa Baten Caswell sat in the audience.

Parents expressed particular concerns about identifying depression in boys who rarely express their feelings as well as about hidden depression in the "polished teen" who is socially adept and acts as if everything is fine.

They also sought guidance in distinguishing "normal teen angst" from clinical depression.

A panel of counselors and psychologists advised parents to be open and attentive to their teens "24/7."

"You need to provide a safe haven for them to open up," said Dr. Jorge Wong, director of behavioral health for Asian Americans for Community Involvement, a San Jose nonprofit organization. "Tell your child, 'Even though it's late at night you can always knock on my bedroom door to talk.' Parents need to be available for that."

Parents were advised to keep their eyes and ears open at all times and to pay attention to details, such as a teen leaving a diary open on her desk or changes in eating or sleeping habits.

After a suicide, friends and family sometimes find art and written materials from the person speculating on what life would be like without them, said Margaret Murchan, a licensed clinical social worker who is the on-campus counseling program director for Palo Alto's Adolescent Counseling Service.

"It's funny how kids will leave things lying around. Even if it's a diary, they'll leave it open on their desks. We respect the privacy of our teens, but often they'll leave it out like we're supposed to read it."

Some of the best chances for communication come at unlikely moments such as when driving to the mall -- "when you're not even looking at each other but both sitting and looking straight ahead," Murchan said.

"When they are 16, teens are subtle, and there are limited opportunities (for communication)," said La Donna Silva of the Centre for Living with Dying at the Bill Wilson Center in Santa Clara. "They don't always ask for their needs to be met."

They are quick to sense fear and dishonesty in their parents, Silva said.

"One of the most important pieces is our authenticity and our honesty. They know if you're not saying something -- it's like the elephant in the middle of the room."

Regarding boys, Adolescent Counseling Services staff member Roni Gillenson advised patience, recalling a therapist colleague who spent nearly a year bouncing a ball with a boy before he finally was willing to discuss his feelings.

Panelists agreed that for the younger generation mental-health problems carry less stigma than for older people and urged that mental illnesses such as depression be regarded like any physical disease.

"Depression can be treated and managed just like diabetes," Wong said. "There are a lot of people among us who have depression and we don't even know it because it is managed.

"We need to encourage our teens to understand that it's a health care issue that can be dealt with."