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Movies - Best and worst of 2003

Publication Date: Friday, January 09, 2004

Guilty pleasures
Top-10 hunks and babes of 2003

by Jeanne Aufmuth and Jim Shelby

The Weekly's movie section always strives to provide our readers with a serious, comprehensive analysis of the week's cinematic offerings.

But once a year, we offer a lighter feature, which celebrates the film industry's sexiest stars. Inspired four years ago by the characteristically ribald remarks in Jeanne Aufmuth's reviews, the piece continues to delight many Weekly readers.

Once again, we asked Aufmuth and Jim Shelby to compile their lists of the hottest actors and actresses of 2003. For the third year in a row, Viggo Mortensen melted Aufmuth with his medieval manliness, while Shelby showed that sexiness can transcend age, with the 40-something Patricia Clarkson and the 50-something Diane Keaton making the cut.

The biggest surprise? A fish called Dory.
Top 10 Hunks of 2003

Russell Crowe ("Master and Commander"): Crowe inspired dreams of unmentionable pleasures whilst commanding his frigate in fitted breeches and an impossibly ruffly shirt.

Johnny Depp ("Pirates of the Caribbean"): One of the greatest talents of his generation is also a shameless scene-thief. Who wouldn't desire a pillage and plunder at the hands of Depp's seductive buccaneer?

Peter Dinklage ("The Station Agent"): Brooding, temperamental and tremendously sensual; good things do come in small packages.

Robert Duvall ("Open Range"): Nice guys don't float my boat, but cantankerous is sexy as hell. Duvall roamed the range every inch the tetchy cowpoke, and rode off into the sunset with my heart.

Colin Firth ("Girl With a Pearl Earring"): I can be had for a guy with a ponytail; Firth's edgy and unkempt artist had me at hello.

Viggo Mortensen ("The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King"): I nearly exploded when the sensual, cleft-chinned Aragorn (my only Hunks List three-peater) led the Army of the Dead into the charge of battle.

Bill Murray ("Lost in Translation"): Pitching Suntory Whiskey or crooning off-key karaoke to Brian Ferry's moody anthem, Murray gave me palpitations while giving unassuming a good name.

Sean Penn ("Mystic River"): Swaddled in black leather and a Boston brogue, Penn's grieving neighborhood heavy was the poster child for blue-collar heat.

Keanu Reeves ("Something's Gotta Give"): Reeves finally shed the snaky skin of Neo and charmed the pants off Diane Keaton. Oh to be that lucky lady.

Sam Rockwell ("Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" and "Matchstick Men"): Rockwell is a repeat offender for taking my breath away and jiggying with my libido twice in the same year.

Top 10 Babes of 2003

Patricia Clarkson: What a good year for Clarkson, who starred as Olivia Harris in "The Station Agent" and Joy Burns in "Pieces of April." Her combination of refined beauty, off-kilter grasp of reality and raw emotion created an exciting cinematic presence

Jennifer Connelly As Kathy in "House of Sand and Fog," Connelly played a very beautiful woman in real distress, a dangerous combination with horrific consequences.


Ellen DeGeneres DeGeneres gave life to Dory, the blue tang in "Finding Nemo." Even though she had memory issues, her optimism and big heart made her gorgeous. I forgot she was digital.

Scarlett Johannson Johannson's wide-set eyes and illegally sumptuous lips appeared in two fine films this year -- "Lost in Translation" and "Girl with A Pearl Earring." Both cinematographers wisely took full advantage of her natural wonders. Just imagine her in Imax.

Diane Keaton Jack Nicholson's horrified reaction to seeing her naked in "Something's Gotta Give" was all a fake. Annie Hall has matured beautifully, and Keanu Reeves knew a good thing when he saw it.

Koyuki Her luminous portrayal of Taka, the young widow in "The Last Samurai," gave Tom Cruise something to live for. Tragic beauty epitomized.

Lucy Liu You can just forget "Charlie's Angels" and enjoy her joyful decapitation of an inconsiderate inferior in "Kill Bill: Vol. 1." She was even great in the animated sequence. This year sharp swords = sex appeal.

Miranda Otto Mead, wheat, peaches and cream: All that is worth fighting Orcs for in one bad-ass sword-wielding queen-to-be of Rohan. Aragorn really blew it by choosing the elf girl.
Ludivine Sagnier Self-indulgent pulchritude has never been more lasciviously arrayed than in "Swimming Pool."

Charlize Theron Theron's shocking and grotesque portrayal in "Monster" is all the more thrilling seen in context of her previously lithe and winsome beauties.


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