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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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Do You Have Sex Only on Vacation?

Uploaded: Mar 16, 2017
Over the years of seeing couples in marriage counseling, and through reading I’ve done, there are many couples who only have sex on vacation.

Sex on vacation is great! You’re more relaxed, you’re in a new environment (which stimulates dopamine – the chemical which helps control the pleasure and reward system in the brain), so that’s exciting, plus your regular life and chores are left behind (hopefully).

Enjoy all the sex you want on vacation. Reconnect, have minutes of eye contact, hug belly to belly. Read, hike, bike, etc. Do whatever floats your boat on vacation.

How come you don’t have sex at home?

1. Do you need to become better lovers?
2. Do you need to learn more about what pleases one another sexually?
3. Are you afraid to talk about sex?
4. Are you able to say, touch me this way (not that way)?
5. Were you taught growing up that sex is bad, wrong, or never to be talked about?
6. Do you think that all the chores have to be done before you can have sex? (The chores never will all be done.)
7. Are you emotionally disconnected, so who would want to have sex when you don’t feel intimate and close, heard and seen?
8. Is sex painful? (See a doctor. Women, after seeing a doctor, you can see a pelvic floor specialist.)
9. Are their sexual function issues?
10. Are you worried your kids might hear you? Send them to a movie, or play a game about how quiet you can be during amazing orgasms. Skip going to one of their games or activities and have your own!
11. Are you stressed out? What relaxes you? Do it.
12. Do you think during the day about having sex? Text each other sweet, sexy notes. That paves the way for later.
13. Do you deserve to play and have orgasms? Yes, you do. If your partner is in too much of a hurry, ask him/her to slow down (or ask him/her to go faster).
14. Do you talk during sex? Talking, laughing, and changing positions during sex can help a lot.
15. Do you use sex toys? Give it a shot.

I wrote earlier about a book, The 5 Sex Languages, and that might be helpful.

Having orgasms releases oxytocin, which makes you feel good and bonded. Orgasms are a great physical release, too, and bring down your stress level.

Keep having sex on vacation – and see if you can have mind-blowing sex at home on a regular basis, too.

If you’re having difficulties, we’re here to help.

Have fun and be safe.

Comments

 +   13 people like this
Posted by Multiple Interests, a resident of Crescent Park,
on Mar 19, 2017 at 7:03 pm

"Do You Only Have Sex on Vacation?"

No, we also sightsee, shop, hike, winetaste, and enjoy good meals.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Sukwinder Dixit, a resident of Sylvan Park,
on Mar 20, 2017 at 3:15 pm

well


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Sea Seelam Reddy, a resident of College Terrace,
on Mar 20, 2017 at 3:19 pm

Sea Seelam Reddy is a registered user.

It's a very personal item that I think one should refrain from revealing

Respectfully


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